Just need a hand hold / support really. Struggling with big changes in life

[kingtutti]

Hello all I hope this is ok to post. Just seeking some support. I’m only 26 but dealing with a lot of upheaval right now!

My boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago. I deal with anxiety and it all got too much for him (in fairness I was very anxious and needed a lot from him). I have not heard a word from him since which is crazy. It went from everything to nothing.

I was talking about the breakup with my therapist and I realised I haven’t just lost my ex (who I absolutely adore) but also:

• I grew up in a dysfunctional family home. I moved in with my ex and his parents, and I’ve never felt so at home or so welcome/comfortable. I’ve lost loving in-laws and a stable family home 😭
• I’ve lost his friends, who were wonderful friends to me and so lovely and welcoming. I spent a lot of time with them as most of my friends live far away
• I’ve lost the plans for the future we had, as we were almost ready to buy a house together. Now, I’m back in with my parents, and nowhere near financially ready to buy on my own

AND, on top of this, my mental health ruined the relationship so I’m also carrying the guilt on top of all this loss.

I think it’s all just sinking in. Just had a massive cry in my car, it’s all way too much to deal with right now.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom to help get me past this horrible stage of dealing with so much? Thank you xxxx

Oh and just to add my ex was absolutely lovely and we had a loving relationship so I can’t even say bad about him !

Handhold in this difficult time 💐 that sounds like a lot to go through. You're still so young so lots of opportunities ahead.. I know that's easier said than done right now. X

Thank you, @foreverinmyheart that’s so kind 💐 xx

Feeling very very low today!

Your post breaks my heart for you and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low today.

It's positive to hear you're in therapy and you have an outlet for everything that you need to get out of your head. Over time this will be invaluable help for you.

The immediate things to try alongside therapy just to get yourself through the days until things start to feel a bit more manageable:

Make your wellbeing a priority:
eat well
no alcohol / plenty of water
take a daily walk (even just 10 mins around the block)
yoga/meditation (again even just 10 mins online/app based)
journal your thoughts and feelings
listen to podcasts on topics that interest you / educate you
reach out to friends (even though they're not local to you they're still valuable in your life to bounce your thoughts and feelings off)

And above all, know that you will get through this, some days are just about putting one foot in front of the other x

Take it one moment and one day at a time. Don't look too far ahead and as PP said try to bring in some things just for YOU. That make you feel good. You'll look back at this know you are stronger for it in the future. Be kind to yourself and don't put yourself under pressure x

Thank you all so much. One step at a time! ❤️

This morning is a hard one. We were meant to be going on a weekend away with his friends and I was meant to have today off work to go.
He’s still going, I’m now at work upset 🥲 I’m going out with friends tomorrow but it just doesn’t feel the same.

If you have a look around the Relationships board, a BIG BIG problem is women ending up in relationships with wrong 'uns.
This is not your problem! You're a winner there already! So, stick to the therapy, go out with your friends and have a nice time, and things will turn themselves around in time.

You're young (it may not feel like it but you are) and at 26 your brain may still be (or has just finished) developing. So TBH it's really not unusual to be a bit of a mess in your 20s (I know I was). Stay clear of drugs, debt and divorce and you will be fine.