Controlling man

[Mumadvice78]

My daughters friend (26) has been in a ltr with an older man for a couple of years. She isn’t very close to her own mum and often comes to me for advice.
he has always been quite controlling and she has gone along with everything but then he cheated on her and it’s almost as if she’s seen the light and she broke up with him and had tried to go non contact.
initially he would not talk to her about what happened so she backed off went nc and doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
He’s now gone completely the other way , he’s messaging her constantly, emailing, contacting her friends and family, sending her gifts and flowers and posting stuff on social media sometimes dozens of times a day.
Sha has been really mature about it and is choosing to ignore him and not to engage in any way. She has asked all her friends to ignore him too.
This has been going on for 3months now and is really bordering on harassment. She won’t answer any of his messages as she thinks if she engages with him just once it will never stop. But ignoring him hasn’t helped either?
should she consider reporting him for harassment at this point? Or would the police think she should have replied to him? I’m at a loss as to how to best advise her.
She is being incredibly mature about it all , he on the other hand despite being older is behaving like a teenager!

She won’t answer any of his messages as she thinks if she engages with him just once it will never stop.

She is correct about this, she should not engage with him under an circumstances. I think it's up to her about whether she reports him for harassment, I would.

She should report him. The police will most likely have a word with him first and tell him to leave her alone. If he persists, then she should get a Restraining Order.

Alternatively, is there an impartial adult (not sure how else to phrase it as I am aware she's an adult too) that can have a word with him and tell him to back off or the police will be called?

Yes, I agree with others. She needs to report this to the police for harassment now. She's got more than enough evidence.

I understand the concept that if she responds he will never stop but he's already never stopping so I think now is the time to get the police to 'advise' him to stop.

Police.

Sometimes these sort need an authority figure to warn them away.

It's not borderline harassment, it's flat out harassment.

She Is right not to engage with him. But he sounds unhinged so seriously, get the police involved.

Why has she not blocked him on everything possible? I would ensure that he cannot email, cannot text, cannot access my SM and if that doesn't stop him then yes, police.

She needs to message him saying “Do not contact me in any way again or I will report you to the police as you are harassing me.” Then she must block him on everything she can immediately before he can even reply.
If he contacts her by using someone else’s phone or messages her on EBay or something ridiculous like that she should report it to the police.
3 months is a long time to keep this up and that in itself is definitely harassment and very worrying he hasn’t given up by now if she isn’t replying to him at all.

Thank you for your replies. I just wasn’t sure what to advise for the best.
I did suggest she blocks him on everything, but she felt she’d prefer to know what he’s saying/doing for evidence if she needs it.
I don’t think there’s anyone she feels she can ask to stop him as she doesn’t want to draw other people into it.
i agree it all feels like he’s very unhinged and needs help.
I think he’s just still trying to control her in any way he feels he can!
I will suggest she perhaps asks the police to have a quiet word!

Make sure she screenshots the harassment before blocking if she is going to block.

I would agree with warning him she will call the police if he continues if it was 1 week of harassment but...3 months. Nah. Just mqintqin no contact and get the police on it ASAP. He doesn't need a quiet word though he needs to be very firmly told by them to back the fuck off.

She has enough evidence by now, as do her friends, to turn over to the Police and then block him on everything once and for all. And ask her friends to do the same.

He is still controlling her. She is doing really well, she has done everything right. The police are the next step to advise her.
Today would be best.

This is the advice I was given about a similar situation. She should be clear to him, in writing, that she wants this to stop. I imagine he won't stop and then she should go immediately to the police with her message and all of his. She's right not to engage other than that.