Twenty years ago I had a very intense FWB situation. I was 4 years older and - without outright saying it - he didn’t want a relationship due to my age. Eventually he found a gf - and me - my now partner. I also moved away which was a bit of a relief - to put distance between us. However he’s continued to message me intermittently - generally when he is on a break/having relationship troubles. I’ve stupidly responded - but always tried to keep things brief/give a bit of support.
Also - he ended up moving to where I now live - and I’ve had the shock of seeing him when I’m out and about with my family.
I’m not sure why I’m posting really. The pain I went through 20 years ago was awful. I felt rejected/not good enough etc etc. I think I’ve messaged back for some sort of affirmation or to prove to myself that I was ok, and that I’ve achieved now without him.
But it won’t ‘go away’. I know I should never have responded to messages - except they are so infrequent. I had one two weeks ago (I haven’t replied).
And it’s the not knowing when I may bump into him…
I think I just want to know what this means. Why the hell does he still message occasionally and why the hell does it still send me into a spin. It’s stupid and pointless. And it fucks me off that he lives here - like I can’t bloody escape.