NC for this as I'm embarrassed I'm even having these thoughts.
Me and DP of 4 years broke up in January because he cheated. He got someone pregnant and she had the child. That's how I found out about him cheating because I saw a message on his phone saying 'when will you come and meet your 7 month old daughter?'. So not only did he cheat on me and get her pregnant (albeit accidentally) but he also did not bother meeting his child and kept it from me completely.
The cherry on the cake is that I was heavily pregnant when I found out about his cheating. He was the one who begged me to continue with the pregnancy, the whole time knowing this other woman had just given birth to his child. So as you can imagine I was very angry and have found this whole situation difficult to deal with.
I told him the right thing to do in this situation is to be in his daughters life. I spent hours talking to him about how important having a father is and I guess it eventually got through to him because he has seen her now. We have a 6 month old son who he is very involved with and tbh I can't fault him as a dad. I was dead set on not getting back with him after such a huge betrayal, but I still love him.
I hate the fact that I feel like this. I know in my head I deserve better but I can't help how I feel. I don't know what to do. It would be easy if we didn't have a child, and I didn't have to see or speak to him. And I have tried to move on, went on a couple dates but felt nothing. Right now I'm entertaining the idea of getting back with him, my head is screaming at me 'no you stupid bitch' but my heart is somewhere else.