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Original poster

That ‘gut feeling’ - has it ever been wrong?

43 replies

ImRunningUpThatHill · 26/07/2022 17:53

Just posted on another thread re ‘how people found out about their partners cheating’ and I mentioned the ‘gut feeling’ which I imagine many of us had before we started properly looking for clues.

My husband cheated early into our marriage and that ‘gut feeling’ was there. I forgave him and then many years later that gut feeling returned - it was never proven as cheating but his change in behaviour and massive disrespect for as enough for me to end an almost two decade marriage.

my question is, to anyone who has had the gut feeling about cheating - have you been wrong?

OP posts:
Desperado99 · 27/07/2022 09:10

C0mfyChairP0se · 27/07/2022 06:45

Yeh, mine is quite switched on, I have learned to pay attention to it.
I knew I was going to get dumped once because there was no x at the end of a whatsapp. next time we met up, got dumped! Don't care now, didn't care 72 hours afterwards, but at the time it was weird. I knew.

I am like this too. I can even tell if the text messages appear 'normal' -

A guy asked a friend for my number - my friend said he was so keen to meet. I told my friend I dont think he is - I think he is back with his ex. My friend looked at me in disbelief and was like 'no way' - 'of course he will text you'. I said I dont think so but wait and see.

He did message me eventually and arrange to meet but I just knew something was off. Friend kept reassuring me. I was like 'hes back with his ex'.

Roll on 72 hours , he ghosted me for the meet up - he has gone on holiday with the ex to 'make up'. I never met him and I never knew him except through what my friend said about him but that has to be my most switched on 'gut instinct' type of situation.

ManAboutTown · 27/07/2022 09:19

Had a gut feeling that a fairly new girlfriend was still more interested in her ex. Turned out to be true and she was using me to pique his interest.

Fortunately I wasn't too emotionally invested in her but she did work in the same place as me which was occasionally uncomfortable.

MargotMoon · 27/07/2022 09:34

Yes my gut instinct was right. I'm reading Blink byMalcolm Gladwell and it seems that we have internal processes going on in our subconscious which we pick up on that manifest themselves physically before our conscious brain acknowledges them. So gut instinct is probably that physical sensation before you mentally process and make sense of what is happening

Desperado99 · 27/07/2022 10:18

MargotMoon · 27/07/2022 09:34

Yes my gut instinct was right. I'm reading Blink byMalcolm Gladwell and it seems that we have internal processes going on in our subconscious which we pick up on that manifest themselves physically before our conscious brain acknowledges them. So gut instinct is probably that physical sensation before you mentally process and make sense of what is happening

Thats a great book

LemonTT · 27/07/2022 10:28

Its anxiety that is being caused by you observing things that are unusual or don’t make sense. It’s what most animals have evolved to be able to sense. Humans should in theory be better at it. We should be able to observe changes in emotional responses from those around us very early on. We should be able to process them.

other things can cause anxiety. The menopause can throw gut instinct very off.

Heatstrokeunsteady · 27/07/2022 12:07

Had a gut feeling about a project and didn’t quit my job- I was right. Thank god kept the good job with good people- I did lose some money through it though. I wish people would just be honest.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/07/2022 17:08

Yes, I had a gut feeling he was cheating. It was correct and since then, my gut feeling has always proved correct in different circumstances

browneyes77 · 29/07/2022 21:13

gannett · 26/07/2022 19:55

"Gut instinct" is bollocks a lot of the time.

Many people mistake using their brains to put two and two together for gut instinct. They'll reel off a laundry list of clues towards something but swear it's some mysterious instinct. Noticing your partner's change in behaviour or routine isn't gut instinct, it's just observation!

Unfortunately it's not so harmless because many people also mistake paranoia and jealousy for gut instinct. I've had (very short-lived) partners who did that to me, and I've seen friends drive themselves crazy because of "gut instinct" (for no reason as it turned out).

100% agree with this

bluegardenflowers · 29/07/2022 21:22

No, its always been right. So called gut feeling or intuition, is simply a multiplicy of small incidents which are 'off' and unconsciously recognised for it. Changing passwords, unexpected late working, being extra nice or extra nasty, etc. Not even big things, but they add up.

momtoboys · 29/07/2022 21:24

My gut feeling has always been right.

AffIt · 29/07/2022 21:39

Do you know, I have literally just been thinking about this - not about my OH or anything, but somebody I've recently met in connection with a hobby.

I just cannot take to him, but I don't know if it's situational (so as not to be too obtuse, he's the new bass player in my band, who joined when our last bassist - who was a very good friend - left over something of a mental health crisis) or if there is something genuinely 'off' about him.

I don't know what to think. He seems normal.

C0mfyChairP0se · 29/07/2022 23:49

Nope. And the latest incident of that in my life would take your breath away. My colleagues also had a bad feeling about this same person. We all did. We acted upon it and holy god miley.

LoveBugBride · 30/07/2022 08:02

My do gets "gut instinct" that I have cheated and I have never so much as thought about it. So no I don't believe it's always right.

C0mfyChairP0se · 30/07/2022 08:13

Is he a man, your OH

Foreverbitter · 28/02/2023 18:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nowthatlovehasperished · 28/02/2023 19:01

Yes, I picked up on clues from him but it took me a while to work them out.

Nelly10 · 28/02/2023 20:33

Mine was bang on, 8 years I ignored the gut feeling and it was right all along. I’ll never ignore it again, everything I’ve done since I’ve gone with my gut feeling and I’ve made the right decision each time.

maddy68 · 28/02/2023 20:42

Never. It's an instinct. Listen to it

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