Do they still give you butterflies...?

[ABriefInquiryInToOnlineRelationships]

I know most relationships posts seem to be negative, but I'm here with a positive one!Does your other half still give you butterflies after a number of years? Do you still get excited when they are coming home? Do you "swoon" (for want of a better word!) when you see them? I've been with my other half almost 5 years and I still fancy him/lust after him just the way I did when we met. In fact, probably more so as I know him so intimately now and know what a wonderful person he is which only adds to how I feel about him.I am sure there must be many of us who feel the honeymoon stage never ended - but no one seems to talk about the good stuff. So here it is, do you feel this way too? I can't ever imagine feeling anything but stronger as the years pass. We never fall out, we don't fight, we just talk an issue through. We don't have kids together, but do separately but our parenting aligns beautifully. After years of shit relationships with what felt like never ending arguments and breaking up, this relationship is an absolute revelation to me. I just want to shout about it from the rooftops. So tell me about your happy relationships, because I know they are out there 😁

Yes, although we don't live together and we don't have kids together, so no pressures from those.

Not "butterflies" but I never really had those
Just a warm glow of happiness/contentedness/safety when he walks in the door or when I look at him on the other side of the room

I do actually. We've been together for 7 years, no kids yet, but I am still very much in love with him.
We have a great relationship, with ups and downs, but we always try to work things out. He supported me a lot a few years ago when I had some MH issues.

Yes, although only two years together. I often see him from a distance chatting to someone & it can take my breath away. In my forties now but I hope it stays this way!!!!!!!!!

Butterflies no, headaches yes!

Yes! A year out so ago I drove past my DH walking along the street, just by chance, and my stomach flipped when I seen him. He looks amazing, especially when he wears particular outfits. We've been together 20+ years and he is ageing beautifully 😍 (but he's also annoying as fuck sometimes too...).

I met DH when I was 43 - I'm 63 now and know just how you feel. He's the loveliest man in the world and yes I do get butterflies every time I look at him. We don't argue, we just seem to be in alignment àbout everything. We both think we're the luckiest people in the worl. d

Ah I absolutely adore these stories, please keep em coming........

Not butterflies (after 26 years) but am always happy to see him come home and can feel a bit teary when he goes away for a week or longer. We rarely argue and if we do always make up by the end of the day. I would not say I am 'in love' with him after all this time but I do love him very much!

DH and I met in our 40s. He’d had years of loneliness. I’d had one glorious love followed by years of crap relationships. More than 20 years on, we’re still like teenagers in love. I think the big thing is that we’ve learnt from experience, so we never take anything for granted.

Long may you stay happy, OP and all happy lovers!

Dh has just said maybe starting late helps!

YES! 12 years together, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. We go to work and miss each other, can't get enough of our own company, he's my favourite person in the whole world as husband, friend, lover. I actually kind of think I don't deserve him 😬, but he thinks same of me.

I would say the honeymoon phase lasted the first 10 years with my dh, then we had a baby and it abruptly ended! But... we have regained a lot of it and although we're both massively distracted by having kids, I still fancy him loads and frequently catch myself admiring his handsome face and we still have a sexual spark despite not having as much sex pre kids. We've got an extra dimension to our relationship now we've had children and it's different, but not worse somehow.

The butterflies are likely to disappear once you either have children or go through the menopause. It's a hormonal response to a sexual urge. Many women struggle to see what they saw in their partners once the menopause hits.

Yes. 3.5 years in, but we don't live together which helps I think.

Although my parents have been married for 46 years and together for 49 and still act like love sick teenagers at times.

I never had the butterflies to begin with 😂

I've known DH for twenty years and we've been married for 15. We have two children, DS1 (aged 5) and DS2 (aged 2) and are currently undergoing IVF.

He has been working mostly from home since the pandemic started and I always miss him when he is in the office for the day. I think he is amazingly handsome, more so than when we met, and we kiss and cuddle like teenagers. Our sex life is regularly interrupted by our two kids running into our bedroom in a morning, and we take full advantage of their grandparents having them for the weekend.

Sorry that's so puke-inducing.

No way. He does my head in most of the time but I think if you still love someone who regularly annoys the shit out of you then it’s probably ‘true love’ rather than lust. I can’t remember the last time I had butterflies over anything positive tbh, only ever nerves.

What’s that quote? “Marry the person who gives you the same feeling as when you see the waiter bringing your food at a restaurant”? That’s the way I feel about DP, still get that little jump of excitement and happiness to see him every time he approaches / I arrive somewhere

I can’t imagine not feeling that way tbh. Why would anyone stay in a relationship with somebody they were actively fed up of? There are no prizes given out at the end of your life for having endured a miserable relationship for the longest time.

Why? Because most people won't get the fairytale and they want to get on the property ladder/have children....not everyone will water their life waiting for that feeling which may never come anyway. And even if they do have it, it doesn't mean it will remain like that for both parties.

*waste

I can’t imagine settling like that.

Yes he does!

He’s genuinely warm, funny, exciting, sexy, smart, capable, thoughtful, decent, kind, good looking, more fastidious than I am about chores/boring things that need doing, and a great cook! The perfect man for me. He also makes me want to be a better person than I actually am, which I think is important in your life partner.

I love him to bits, appreciate him daily, and he loves me and appreciates me daily, too; we are very close and still very much like each other after many years together.

❤️❤️

What’s that quote? “Marry the person who gives you the same feeling as when you see the waiter bringing your food at a restaurant

How bizarre. I think many different things when I see the waiter bringing my food, depending on a range of different factors. Sometimes I'm starving and delighted to see him, other times I think nothing more than 'oh there's the waiter' and other times I might think 'there's that surly waiter, he's definitely not getting a tip'. I think most marriages are like that - you can't sustain 30/40/50 years of being starving, and if you do you probably have a tapeworm that needs looked at. Most marriages have their ups and downs, their highs and lows, and the day to day tedium of everyday life in between. If you can survive all that and still laugh with each other and actually look forward to spending time together then I think you've got a pretty good marriage.

Sometimes. Been together almost 20 years and yea there’s days I want to throttle him but days I am in total and utter awe and remember how lucky I am.

I wouldn't say butterflies but I do find myself looking at him across the couch at night and thanking my lucky stars he's mine. We could both do with losing a bit of weight but from what I've seen of my friends' partners, he is by far the best.