he attack me I defend myself and now he sue me..

[isabelle12345]

Hello I am writing to you because I am a bit lost..

I am 32 years old, single mom of 1 lovely son. I met that man 6 months ago and felt good after my son's father leave us

We lived together (finally I accepted him at home) and even if it's my place he like to direct everything, to know everything and to decide basically everything, exept for my son . I had accepted that situation implicitly since the beginning, it is my temperament, I do not know how to say no

We argued regularly, but as usual I let him have the last word to stop the debates (that's the only way he calmed down). He just kind of hate my family for some unknown reason, so one night when things weren't going well he started to say nasty things to me for free, he insulted my mother who is sick and even my son... I was very upset, I decide to break up with him and ask him to leave the apartment while he keeps insulting me.

He refuses so I told him I will just call the police. He took my phone, throw it into the living room, slap me and block me into the wall. I was scared and so furious. I slap and punch him back. A fight begin.

I am maybe a short woman but I am an ex ballerina and I was totally out of control. I manage to throw him couple of punch in the face and send him a kick in the stomach that made him land on his ass.

He tried to get up but I run and throw hima kick in the face and some on the ribs. He was lying on the floor like a sh*t, knock out! I drag him and throw him out of the appartment telling him next time he come here I ll kill him. I throw his stuff by the windows.

My son has been wake up by all the noise and I was crying with a lot of blood on my dress.

Naively, I told myself that it was over and I ll never hear anything about him of my life. I wasso far to image that the police would call me today to summon me because that as*hole filed a complaint against me. I didn't go to the doctor to get a certificate for the hematum I received after the fight.

I really don't know what to do and I'm afraid that this son of b*tch will pretend to be the victim.Do you know what I'm risking concretly?Do you have any advice for me before I go to the police?

Thank you

Which country are you in? As that will probably make a difference to advice people give you.

How long agi did this happen? Surely you can still make a complain about him.

and do not Move a man into your child’s home so ridiculously soon again.

I am from France and it has happened 1 week ago

So what is the complaint he has filed against you? Injury?Damage to his belongings? I think in the UK police officers take domestic violence seriously. Obviously if your ex has claimed that you injured him then the police have to hear both sides of the story. You might need to attend a police station to give your version of the story, or they might interview you at home. Tell them the story of what has happened. If neither of you have made complaints before, or have had previous convictions for violence, and since it sounds as though neither of you needed medical treatment I doubt if they will be pressing criminal charges against either of you though they might issue formal cautions against further violent events.

I would make sure you change the door locks if he has a key, and take more care over inviting future boyfriends to share your home. Build up your self esteem so you have the confidence to say no to bullying and potentially abusive partners.

No idea how police will respond. Sounds like there was at least an element of self defence but none of us can say at what point the law in France decides its no longer applicable.

In the UK, reporting to the authorities would trigger social services intervention I'm sure, to ensure your child is protected.

I hope you're safe and not badly hurt?

As pp said, change locks, don't resume any contact with him and never live with a man after only 6 months of knowing them.

I hope your child is OK after this.

Please also look after yourself and consider therapy to help you avoid abusive relationships in the future x

Thx for your answers,

I have change already the front door lock. I regret so much to have open my door to that piece of sh*t and I really feel terrible for my son..

The cop told me that he has a broken nose, 2 cracked ribs and he had to stop working. I have some hematoma on my arms and a light black eye. I have absolutly no criminal case at all: im not a violent person.

I really dont have any idea what crazy version he did tell them.

Im not scared about police or justice but im terrified by the social services. I raise my 6 years old son alone and I decided to change my carreer to spend more time with him.

Physically Im ok but inside im broke. I have insomnia and ton of anxiety. My son made nightmare, everynight. He should have never see me like this and I worry a lot for him but I cant find the words and the strenght to explain him what happened

I think you should go to your doctor with your injuries too.

If social service in France operate as they do in the UK then they will want to see that you are supporting your child emotionally and physically, that he lives in a clean and comfortable home, that he is well fed, happy and confident, and developing in an age appropriate way. The last thing they would want to do is to remove a child from that sort of environment. Not a good move for the child, not a good decision for the State financially! If they were worried about your parenting then I think most social services would rather support a family who they felt was in need of some help rather than break a family up with all the problems that can cause.

Another one who only knows about UK here

Bur If what you state as facts are true
-a fight in the home

• between parents

-one parent sustained light bruising

• the other broken bones
• a child present

Then there is a clear perpetrator here.
A child potentially witnessed domestic abuse, which is abuse (to the child. This is a good thing, which protects children)
Neither parent was prioritising the child or behaving protectively towards them

In the UK, this wouldn't necessarily involve a child being removed or taken into care, but it's a bloody great leap towards it. I would expect the family to be under SS for this, and for them to want to see the child being protected a damn load more than they are currently

for Self defence they generally look for a similar amount of damage to the other person as they have inflicted on you.

this means beating on someone, breaking bones etc for a while after they punch your face once or twice goes beyond self Defense

I agree that the police might think you went beyond reasonable force.

There is a defence that's sort of been tested in the UK about the effects of psychological abuse on women resulting in them snapping. I'm not legally trained even in the UK so don't rely on my thoughts as advice!

However, if you're going to need to put forward your defence then you need to make sure your doctor is aware of all effects on you - mental as well as physical.

I would also look at getting a lawyer if possible.

Regarding social services, if they become involved- which they should do if the system is working properly - then you'll need to work with them as closely as possible.

Good luck, op

Certaines assurances maison proposent une couverture juridique inclus dans le contrat, ça vaut peut-être le coup de les contacter.
As-tu pris des photos de tes blessures suite à l'altercation ? La police pourrait demander à ton fils d'apporter son témoignage.
Les services sociaux ne vont pas l'enlever sauf s'ils pensent qu'il est en danger immédiat, ce qui ne semble pas étre le cas.