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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I end it ?

14 replies

Snowy2012 · 26/07/2022 00:20

Hiya all . Looking for some advice on my relationship which is going from bad to worse every week.

I've been with my partner for 5 years and we both have kids from previous marriages. Pre pandemic , everything was fabulous. We got engaged , started to plan moving in together , spent lots of quality family time together. Since restrictions have been lifted last summer everything has went to sh*t .

My partner no longer talks about the future or moving in together, I suggest on a regular basis that we have days out with our kids to which I may as well be speaking to a brick wall , there is zero effort to fix things if there is an issue. Its all a total mess . We are just back from holiday him me and my son , however there was minimal interaction, even things like playing a game of ball in the pool . I would throw the ball to him and he would throw it back and continue with his swim. He would spend 70% of the day in the hotel room on his phone and leave us at the pool ourselves (apparently chatting to his mother ) . Dinner was a struggle as it was constantly me making efforts to start a conversation.

So when we eventually arrived back to the UK , I had it out with him (even though I had previously brought it up during our holiday ) and told him I have no interest in marrying or moving in with someone who behaves like that and if he was talking to his mum all the time , then he deffo is a mummy's boy.

I'm literally at the end of my tether with it all . I do not need a 43yo child

Help ! ❤️

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2022 00:23

It wasn't his mother!

s1eepdeprived · 26/07/2022 00:28

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2022 00:23

It wasn't his mother!

Kinda agree here. Red flags 🚩 for another significant person perhaps beginning to take his attention?

Are you able to withdraw completely for a time? If there is someone else, he may pursue it and it will fizzle out as they often do, and he may then wake up and realise what a good thing you had gong?

Italiangreyhound · 26/07/2022 00:28

Personally, I think it sounds like a good thing you did not get married. I'd move on. Hard as it may be, he doesn't sound very nice.

s1eepdeprived · 26/07/2022 00:28

*going

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/07/2022 00:29

I think you should end things permanently and move on. Sounds like he already has to be honest. Sorry.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/07/2022 00:31

You don't need help, you need to take the blinders off. Your partner is being very clear that he wants this relationship to be over, he's just too much of a coward to do it himself. He's treating you this way so that you will end it and he can be the poor victim.

You know you need to end it so do it and stop wasting your own time.

AuntTwacky · 26/07/2022 01:05

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2022 00:23

It wasn't his mother!

Agreed

Snowy2012 · 26/07/2022 09:46

Thanks everyone . I do agree with what everyone has said. Don't want to waste any more time feeling how I am feeling.

OP posts:
GoT1904 · 26/07/2022 09:51

I definitely would leave.

MalbecandToast · 26/07/2022 09:54

100% it was not his mother! Get rid, you deserve better

gamerchick · 26/07/2022 10:01

Definitely not his mother. You probably should prepare for his head being turned. I'm sorry man.

Judy3 · 26/07/2022 14:16

He may think the grass is greener, but I guess he is the unlucky one and that you should give him the cold shoulder and don't marry him

Aria999 · 26/07/2022 14:57

Yes you should end it, sounds like you kind of already know that though!

Catlover1970 · 26/07/2022 15:16

He has met someone

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