I appreciate my experience might not be representative of every 50-something singleton. However, the reason I am happily single is that I have dated quite a few men in my post-divorce 40+ years and right up until this year...three longer term relationships in that time all had a shared factor. They were all looking for a second wife, and a house to live in as had few assets left after previous relationship breakdowns. It seemed like an end-goal. I wasn't being used for providing that, and have seen too much of that amongst friends. I wasn't looking to adopt men who had reached mid-life without being independent and fun. There is some prevailing assumption in middle- aged men that I have encountered, and it is that I should be grateful for their attention, flattery and effort of 'taking me out'. I suspect it is all connected to old-fashioned views on valuing women for their looks. I don't want to be a pretty flower who sways in the wind, and I don't want someone to flatter me superficially. I want someone who tells me my career or personal achievements are recognised and appreciated, and who offers support in the tough times. Saying no to relationships that are not working centres upon having good self esteem, and not being afraid of being alone. Some people get better at saying no to poor treatment over time. I think I have.