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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living a lie

2 replies

Genie321 · 25/07/2022 00:03

I have been married for 11 years and have two children, one of whom has special needs. My husband only initiated sex 5 times in the 12 years i have known him. He has never been affectionate. He has been sacked from every job he has had since I've known him. I am very educated through sheer hard work.

After he was sacked from his last Job he said he needed to see his psychiatrist that he's known for 16 years . I found out he has bipolar. He has been sectioned two times ..once claiming that a politician was sending him threats to kill him. He refuses to acknowledge he has bipolar. I an now almost certain he is autistic. When I mentioned this he said..I was in a bar once and a stranger said exactly the same thing

I am working hard. He doesn't work. We don't communicate. He sleeps in his own bedroom watching films all night

He doesn't sit with me at all..day or night. I cry..shout...show him how much I am hurting nothing. Yeah yeah yeah. That's what I get.

We argue day and night. I know the kids are feeling it when i tell him to leave he refuses.

I just want him to go. I'm scared. I'm desperate. I don't know how I will cope the final straw today was me asking him to transfer money to me and he said he'd rather have set with me than do that.

I am broken.

OP posts:
MissedItByThisMuch · 25/07/2022 00:12

I’m not someone who rushes to say LTB, but really you are getting literally nothing out of this relationship. He doesn’t work, doesn’t spend time with you, argues with you and won’t deal with his mental health problems. I know change is scary, but your life will be so much easier and less stressful with him out of it.

frozendaisy · 25/07/2022 02:06

Sit him down.

Say you win, I'm broken , I can't and won't do this anymore. Our marriage is over we are going to live apart how easy we make this in the children is entirely in your hands but just know from now on I am working towards not being a couple as quickly as possible as that is best for all of us.

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