Ex not wanting to see our child

[Jayneport81]

Hi all.
I put a post on here the other week saying I’m confused about ex as he’s been saying he loves me blah blah blah and day before he was going on holiday with a female “friend” still saying the same shit. We have an 8 year old non verbal Austin child. He’s always wanted to see our child when it suits him and like a fool I have as I really do want him to be a dad to our child even tho I probably should have put my foot down! Silly me I guess! The ex was meant to be having our child yesterday (Saturday) until this afternoon at 4pm on the Sunday and this is what he requested. Well yesterday he emailed saying he wants no contact with our child and he will not be in touch again. I’m actually shocked!!! He’s not young btw he’s 43!! I’m also hurt how he can just do that?! I haven’t emailed him back as I simply do not know what to say or if I should even bother? Anyone else had the same thing? Advice much appreciated! Thank you for reading.

He is a complete twat and you and your child are better off without him.

It would be worse for your child for him to dip in and out as he pleases.

Make sure he’s paying you CM

Thank you! I do totally agree! Just feel hurt for my son as he doesn’t deserve to be treated this way! I’ve tried so hard for the past year for my ex to be a good dad and for what really?

If you haven't claimed maintenance do so now and leave the loser where he is...don't be surprised to find he has a new girlfriend and will reappear once that fizzles out. I would suggest you prepare for that. I am assuming given their age you have professionals involved?

I’ve been told to go to CM as he always makes some excuse! But can afford a holiday! I feel totally stupid!

Appalling. Agree with others, protect your child and don't allow the ex to dip in and out. Awful man.

Go to CMS. Make him pay.

If he doesn’t want anything to do with his son, fine but he can damn well pay for his upkeep.

Don’t let him worm his way out with “I can’t afford it”.

I think the “friend” he went on holiday is his gf. That’s really nothing to do with me at all but it just seems he’s had his holiday last week and no for no reason wants nothing to do with his son. And yes my friends have said the same thing he will want contact when he’s not with the gf. But I’m not having that. Simply not fair. Yes my son goes to a specialist school and we are currently looking for a PA for him. Which even my ex said she’s a go they need to step up and I’m thinking no you need to as you’re his father!

Don't feel stupid, he's the idiot - not you!

Claim CM and block him. After this I would only allow him round my child if there was a court order. How DARE he treat your son as if he's disposable??

Do not allow him to mess your son about again. If/when he changes his mind he will have to go through the proper channels to prove he is serious (and save that email!)

I have saved the email. Just incase In the future he does suddenly want to see our son. He s blocked me for some reason hence the email. Not even sure why he’s blocked me tbh?? I have no clue? We don’t even argue he gets annoyed when I ask for more help with our son but he just replies he needs a life. I feel stupid as he hasn’t even given me a reason?? Nothing?

Good riddance, honestly your son deserves better. Make sure you claim CM, and I would keep any text messages/emails as evidence in case he tries to come back again. Don’t let him mess you or your son about.

There is no . He’s just selfish.

I know he’s selfish. Always has been. Even tho our son is non verbal he signs that he’s had a lovely time with his dad and now his dad does this?! I’m so hurt and angry! I really wanted to email him but I can’t as tbh he wouldn’t get it anyways.

Not much help to you OP but it never ceases to amaze me how any woman or person really can give the time of day, much less start a new relationship with someone who treats their own child with such disdain and cruelty. Equally do these pricks not have families or friends who say 'WTF?'. I don't get it.

Get everything financial you can get out of him OP, use every other support mechanism you can find and and try to give him as little headspace as possible.

Thank you. His “friend” that he went on holiday has no children. I found out through a mutual friend as I know who this woman is that he feels bad as she can’t have children. As much as I feel
sorry for her that isn’t my problem. My son is! As for his family his dad won’t have nothing to do with our son as like he put it years ago there’s no spastics in there side of the family so must get it from mine! By the way his word not mine as I hate that word. So no they won’t be telling him wtf! I am trying not to think about it as he doesn’t deserve it. But how dare he!!

@Jayneport81

I definitely would go out a claim for child maintenance.

My ex is not involved and he apparently said they didn't want to see him. He had gone from every weekend to every 2 weeks then month. Then it was a night to seeing him for a day. Then nothing and he only contacts me because of the child maintenance. We normally argue but last message he seemed okay. He did ask about how they are. I said they okay but don't want to give information he not bothered just because he got to pay CM again.
I do think it's to do with his wife but he no man if it is. He would of never walked away like that. Even when we split we argued but look after them at weekends and take them out.
Now they older enough and say my dad doesn't want to know and don't care.
Men who walk away like that disgust me.
Probably planning baby already.

So sorry to hear that! Absolutely disgusting! They are innocent kids ffs! I’m in no way blaming the new maybe gf at all! This is on my sons dad. And if it is because of her then he needs to stay away. But also I know as a mum I would never get near or want anything to do with a man like that! Thank you for your reply tho.

@Jayneport81

I have a new partner and he dad to them now.
I actually really wanted them to have a relationship but both don't care. They making efforts at all. Relationship is dead.
Ex should be fighting to have a relationship but doesn't care.
Definitely put a claim for CM.

No effects at all

Even ex whole family doesn't bother now.

I have two older kids,19 and 16. Always had a great co parent relationship with him and his gf and kids. I think this is why I’m struggling? I’m not silly I know it happens. And I’ll not just angry because my son had non verbal Autism. He’s happy thank god! Knows nothing about it. But I do. Thank you all for reply!

Hi,
I am going through the Same situation. Was there any update on yours?
thanks

I have written a similar post

Child abandonment is a crime. He can’t legally do this but you have grounds to take him to court and get full custody and half his income. Go do that as an autistic child needs care and he needs to pay for it.

@Isabellivi Stop posting on Zombie threads, it’s really annoying!

Why have you bumped a nearly 2 year old post?