Apologies for the long post!
I want to start my saying that I love my husband but am no longer happy in my marriage. I don't know whether to continue with it or not and would like to see if anyone has been in a similar position to me.
My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers (now mid 30s). Both come from broken homes. We always got on very well and pre baby were fortune enough to have a nice lifestyle, holidays, concerts, dinners out.
The problem is our marriage has been a struggle since our son was born (now 2).
I have always wanted kids and my husband hasnt. we broke up at one point over it as I felt it wasnt fair to continue in our relationship (despite the fact that we are very compatible on most other areas of life). my husband changed his mind and we got married and had one child, albeit i knew he was doing this to keep my happy rather it being something that he really wanted for himself.
However my husband isnt a natural parent. Our son was born during the pandemic, wasnt an easy baby (are any of them i suppose?!), severe reflux, allergies, didnt sleep , cried all the time. No family nearby to help. I struggled it was so difficult. For the first time in our lives my husband did nothing to help me. Focused on work. Didnt bond with the baby. Still hasnt really. Loves him and wants the best for him but doesnt enjoy spending time with him. Grieves for our carefree lives. Works long hours and provides for us but probably spends about 10 mins a day during the week with our son and at the weekend maybe an hour a day with us,. Never wants to do to family activities, go to park, go on walks, I am left to do all this on my own. I have found myself resenting him more and more and frankly my love for him reducing reducing. I am torn between hoping things will get better in the future and wondering whether I should leave now and relocate closer to my parents and sisters (who love my son and would be delighted to be more involved in his life) . I actually think my son would get much more interaction and nuturing from my parents than my husband but I also know grandparents arent substitutes for parents.
I do also know that my husband isnt a bad person, he has never cheated on me, been nasty to me etc, he is a good man but since our child has been born he has become completely selfish and disconnected from me and I am at a loss at to what to do.
I feel I have so little support and am lonely in our marriage.