I broke up with my partner of around 12 years three months ago. During the 12 years he left me once when my daughter was newborn to go and start a relationship with someone else for two I took him back when she left him because I was lonely. He was always very cold towards me and did not kiss me for most of our 12 year relationship , we did have sex from time to time and there were times when he was loving but he never asked to marry me and I suspect he had cheated more than once . ( he asked the gf to marry him )
he did hit me when we used to argue I was always craving his love and attention, I am a good looking girl also I am told so I don’t understand why I am stuck on this man. I threw him out three months ago when I finally had enough . Our daughter is seven and is happy .
I feel incredibly guilty that I’ve got rid of her dad out of the house even though she does not seem to mind and I feel bad that I am stopping him from seeing her grow up in terms of him living with her . I also miss him dearly despite him treating me like a doormat. I have met someone else who treats me like an absolute goddess however I am constantly pushing him away I find his kisses annoying I don’t want to be constantly held and all the love yous I’m finding too much, I am finding ways to avoid him and I feel incredibly guilty about that too is there something wrong with me is this because I was treated without much love and affection for 12 years that I am behaving this way towards this new man? This New man shares all of my hobbies and interests Unlike my ex. I am also incredibly upset that my ex has not even asked to come back, Since he left he has not called or texted to say anything of the sort it’s almost as if I did him a favour I can’t believe I wasted so many years with somebody who probably did not want to be here anyway so why do I feel like this now somebody show me care? I really feel terrible like I’m missing out on life and really sad