Happier single

[Dollyanna]

Late 30s but honestly I'm done on the search for a long term relationship. The mind games and the constant roller coaster of emotions isn't worth it.

I do notice in my moods I am happier when not dating and think I should stay single. Generally I'm a happy optimistic person but as far as dating goes I loathe it.

Fuck dating basically 😃

I’m married now but I recognise a lot of what you say. I dated prolifically before meeting DH and was always happier and more ‘myself’ when I was single. I wasted many unhappy years in crappy relationships. I met DH when I was at my happiest, most single and independent self, and it made me a bit of a commitment phobe, but also meant I was in the right headspace to meet someone right for me and not the identikit dickheads I’d been attracted to when I really wanted to be in a relationship. It also made me really attractive to DH because he could see that I had my shit together and didn’t ‘need’ him.

I dont particularly like people in general so find being in my own company easy.

I love being single. I don't have to consider anyone else in my decisions, my bed is my own full time and I can do what I want, when I want. I'm done with men.

I'm with you, early 40's and will happily never go on a date again. Perfectly content as I am with no desire to start sifting through the glut of substandard men out there in the hope there is one worth finding.

I'm done with the human race. Most people are horrible and just use others. Rather be alone and have a dog or cat. I never thought I'd be one of these people but I hate people on the whole. Just having a bad day 😕

I was same until I met my DP. Wasted so much time when I think back. I also don’t really like people!

I started to learn when I wasn't enjoying it, to step back and do something else. I knew I had to stick with it as I wanted a family, but so many times I thought stuff it, I’ll just stay single!

I want to leave my partner so I can be on my own, not interested in being in another relationship just want to be in my own with my kids, cats and dog!!!
My dad was on his own after separating from my mum and was proper content, I’m not massively keen on people I’m very comfortable with my own company.

I'm definitely feeling this. I'm very happy to stay single forever. Except. I don't like sex with randoms, but do miss sex but I only want to have sex with someone who I'm in a relationship with. Except I don't want a relationship. Conundrum.

I loved being single. It has many advantages! No compromise, no negotiation, no one to answer to. Free to live how you like. I studied for professional exams, traveled alone, worked abroad several times. I bought the place I wanted with my own money. It was fabulous.

Having said that I also love being with my bf. He is kind and supportive and makes a cracking roast. Having done everything for myself makes me more grateful when he does a particular job. He makes me laugh and it's nice to have a "quiet presence" around the house. He tells interesting stories from when he was single!

Each has their advantages and disadvantages if you ask me. But I know I can make either work for me!

I’m single, 52 and I love it ❤️ Just me and the dog since ds (19) moved out. Lockdowns made me realise that this is my first choice.

I used to think having a partner raised you up making you more of the person you were meant to be through mutual encouragement and support (as a good relationship should). However, I’ve done this for myself. With amazing support and encouragement from family. Graduated from OU at 50. Teacher training last year and about to start teaching in FE in September. All by myself and tres tres happy 😊 (teaching English not French!) I wondered how I would ever have managed it being in a relationship last year. No time for that nonsense! Now I can just please myself and the dog. Do what I want ❤️

Yep I would happily stay single for the rest of my life! No one to answer to, no one's feelings to consider, if I want to do something i do it. Its the best way to be.

So glad there are others who think the same. I'm currently just enjoying sitting in the garden in 27C sunshine reading a book and having a nice drink.

Sometimes the simple things make you happiest.

Solo mother by choice (used a sperm donor to conceive), I spent the past 20 years dating, including a marriage and I never managed to meet someone to settle down with. I imagined child/ren but it was getting more and more out of reach by the time I'd hit my late 30s. Used to berate myself, then realised that it is largely timing and luck and a lot of "settling" rarely admitted to in real life though.

I enjoy being single, having the freedom to make decisions like have a child on my own etc but occasionally like today, it would have been nice to do something with someone else! Maybe it's the lack of friends or family nearby that is making me feel like this, but it is hard to make long lasting friendships as an adult, I've found, and it's almost easier to get into a relationship.

I think it depends what you want: if you desperately want to get married and have children in a nuclear setting, then you're going to find being on your own unfulfilling.

I relate! I have a boyfriend at the moment who is actually great, but I miss being single and think on the whole I prefer it. I don’t want to move in with him, like…ever

Never want to have children. Id be open to a partner but I'm not looking anymore. Have proven to myself I can cope being single so really what is the point of a relationship besides someone to have a regular bonk with lol

Anthurium Have never wanted children myself and not interested in marriage. 99.9% of the time I am happy single just occasionally like today I feel like I'm missing out. I refuse to lower my standards or settle so if that means being single forever so be it. I have dated crap men in the past but never again.

I've just left a 30 marriage I should have left 10 years ago.
Apart from the fact that my STBXH is an emotionally/psychologically/finanically abusive arsehole, I am LOVING being on my own. For the first time in years and am not tiptoeing around his moods, can eat what I want, go where I want and watch what I want.
I might get a cat (he hates cats)

@Dollyanna
aaaw 🍸I will join you in spirit

YnysMonCrone Sorry to hear you were in an abusive marriage. I should count myself lucky that I'm single then. Not sure if counts as abuse but I did date someone once who could never deal with emotions and shut down if I ever asked where did he see things going. Would often change the subject, find fault, told i was being dramatic or too sensitive etc

Anyway ended it and felt happier away from that tosser.

Way to go

@YnysMonCrone
yes absolutely definitely get a cat 😻you will not regret it apart from holiday care can be tricky as I am finding out

Yep, love being single and whilst a relationship might be lovely (I have never actually had a decent relationship, so may be imagining too much), I am totally, totally done with wasting another second of my life wading through the river of shit dates with losers that it will take to find a relationship. Post 30, all that's left is the dregs. Fuck 'em.

Speedweed Totally 100 % agree with you. Sorry to hear you haven't had a decent relationship either 😕

I am the same!

I would love to meet someone decent, but failing that I want decent sex at least...