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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Opening up about childhood abuse

3 replies

alexis18 · 22/07/2022 16:57

so I’m not sure if this is the correct place to post this but I feel like I really need some advice , I have recently opened up to my mother that I experienced sexual abuse from someone within our family whiles growing up on a regular basis , I never had any intentions of ever telling her about this as I don’t feel comfortable talking about it but the an ex girlfriend of the person involved has recently said that he also sexually abused her during the relationship so I felt I had to speak up about it because he has not changed and it’s affecting other women . My mum instantly accused his ex of lying ( the sun shines out of this male in the family’s arse to her ) untill I told her that I experienced it too from the same person , I am currently heavily pregnant so don’t want the stress and I don’t plan on going to the police to push this any further especially at the minute I don’t want to put any stress on my unborn child . I begged her not to say anything as it wasn’t her place and to find out she has told the person I’ve accused them of this I am furious as it wasn’t her place and has now put me in this situation where all I want to do is cut her off she doesn’t see the severity of exposing this has done

OP posts:
Deedee121 · 22/07/2022 17:20

Hi, Sorry don't have any advice really but didn't want to read and run. Do you think your Mum might have been in shock when she told the person who abused you?

I would recommend ringing up a sexual abuse agency who deal with historic sexual abuse as they will be able to give you the proper support and guidance at this time. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

KittenKins · 22/07/2022 20:45

That's a terrible things for her to do. It's your history, you need to deal with any future steps you take in your own time, especially as you are pregnant.

IF you choose to report you can speak with an ISVA’s (Independent Sexual Violence Advisors), they can guide you through the process.

I guess for now the important thing is managing the next few weeks. How do you feel about your mum breaking your trust like this? Do you want to find out her reasons for doing so or is limited/no contact what you feel YOU need to cope right now. Do you have any support in the real world?

It's very good of you to defend the other woman, not everyone can/is able to do so.

amoobaa · 01/08/2022 11:42

Hello, I Hope you are managing ok and your Mum has been able to reflect properly and start supporting you. I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you are surrounded by people who are being more sensitive and supporting you the way you need.

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