Hi everyone
I just wondered what your thoughts are on the following situation I am experiencing at work??
I work with a small team in a busy open plan office. I work f/t and most of my colleagues work p/t. We all get along really well except I struggle with one other person on a professional level.
We have both worked there for 4 years. When she started I thought she was nice and we have a few personal things in common. However some issues soon came to light. She began over sharing the problems in her personal life to a point where she was divulging very personal things. She forever wanted advice and a shoulder to cry on, someone to tell her what she should do with regard to her troubled marriage. She talked about it non stop and we all tried to remain supportive but it got too much for us all in the office at times. She tried to call me at home a few times and wanted to talk for hours but I had to put a stop to that. She has gone through a difficult time personally but I was finding it difficult trying to get on with my work and not get too involved as she is the type of person that needs a lot of attention and giving into that means that she will get worse. Then she started taking personal calls in the office, coming in late, spending time doing her hair at her desk and taking extra lunches etc. This went on for ages and finally our boss spoke to her about it. She lives close to me and I saw her out one evening and she told me she had been advised to pull her socks up. She thought it was someone in the office that had had a word with the boss (I don't think it was) so she stopped speaking to us altogether for a week or so. I do think she suffers with her mental health as she cam be unpredictable, one minute being over talkatuve and the next very moody and off. She also doesn't seem to respect boundaries. She wants to talk about personal things a lot. She doesn't seem to get that sometimes you are busy or you are on your lunch break and can't spend it all talking to her. I try to make this clear without offending but she just doesn't get it! She will start a conversation just so that she can turn it around and talk about herself. I honestly try to be understanding but this is now having a very negative effect on me.
Today was the last straw, so to speak. She has separated from her husband around a year ago and the talk about that issue was getting less, much to my relief. She waited until everyone had left the office to ask me about my weekend plans. I told her and wished her a good weekend. She then said it wasn't going to be good and for the next 20 minutes went on to explain that her husband wants to talk and then I got all the personal details. I just can't be listening to her anymore. It's got to the point that I am so uncomfortable in her company because I am frightened to start any sort of conversation with her because I know where it will lead. I find that I become a different person in her company and I am physically trying to put distance between us. She is not a friend nor would I ever choose her as one. We are organising a night out soon and she was invited but said she didn't want to come (she was not speaking due to the boss telling her off). Now she says she may have changed her mind and I am absolutely dreading that she will attend as I know she will make a bee line for me.
Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to deal with not just her, but these feelings I have towards her. I get on with all my colleagues and have never had these feelings about a colleague before. I sometimes pretend I need to leave the room just so I am not alone with her!!! What's happening to me??