Living together but feeling separated

[SweetsForMySweet7]

My dh and I have been together nearly 5 years and have two little ones. Our relationship feels like it's so different now to how it started. Admittedly having a 1 and 3 year old changes things. However, I feel like dh and I live together and parent together but don't really have a relationship anymore. All he wants to do when the children are in bed or if there's a few minutes quite (rare), is go on his phone and watch and play games. If I try and communicate with him, he's always saying his too tired and wants to be left alone. Every so often, I get this, but he says it a lot and it feels like he's constantly pushing me away!

Tonight I said to him that if he continuously wants to be left alone then he can always leave and be single again. I'm fed up with his lack of communication. How can you have a relationship when you can't even talk to your husband?! It feels like we're just co existing. I'm quite a chatty person, I love connecting with people though conversation. Ironically, dh will be really chatty with other people.

When I tried to talk to him this evening, he wouldn't take his eyes off the game on his phone and wasn't really listening as I had to keep repeating myself. I asked him if he'd look at his phone whilst his mum, dad or grandma were talking to him. He said, 'no I wouldn't, but I live with you!'

Does this sound like a doomed relationship?
Do I accept that we just live together but don't really have a relationship?

I don't think it is necessarily doomed.
Obviously a relationship when you are at the stage of life where you have two really dependent small people to look after, on top of everything else is going to be very different from when you first meet someone, and clearly you met / married / had your first dc very quickly - presumably before you had the chance to move to that "comfortable" phase of a relationship, and haven't had chance to learn how the other reacts when tired / stressed / or even just 'comfortable'.

Even if you had known each other longer before having dc, I think many couples find themselves very stressed and often strained relationships when they have little children. Sleep is disturbed - which makes everything harder - and there is little flexibility in that obviously someone has to be with the dc at all times. Money is often tight as well which increases strain on any relationship.

It does not mean it is doomed though. Most couples go through difficult patches and most come out the other side.

He either engages with you and makes a change, or you move on.
Being on your own with the kids would be hard, but think how much better you would feel if the anxiety/frustration over your relationship was gone.