Lack of female friends

[Ilovetheseventies]

This isn't a moan but I have had enough of one particular female friendship and realise I have to make more.
I was supposed to meet my friend tomorrow and she has let me down again. I think she is taking the piss. She lives half a mile down the road and even though meeting has been arranged for a week. She can no longer make it.
Anyway i belong to two running groups and an outdoor swimming group, work part time, have 3 grown up children and I am very busy.

I am looking for your thoughts on female friendships and whether they are worth it. I have recently become friends with another girl who is really nice but should I just care less. I am going to look at other activities. I have friends but they don't live close by.

No, I dont think they are worth it. I'm 51 and even now going through the same old one way relationships with women. I am happy to go places on my own single woman. I tend to attract those who love the sound of their own voices. I realise my two dogs are all the friends I need.

I try to manage my expectations of friendships.

I’m done with pursuing & trying to rekindle meet ups and outings with girl friends. It’s become really weird since Covid that some friends just seem unwilling to put themselves out to be in contact, sustain contact or stay as friends.
Ive tried because I’m a loyal type but have now given up. I quite like my own company, I enjoy the friends I do still have and have a partner & family so I’m not bothered. Their loss.

I whatsapped a friend two hours ago and find more often than not, my messages stay on 2 grey ticks. She hardly responds but will happily turn up out the blue for a drink. I've lost count of the amount of drunken promises she has made and not one of them has been kept. I just class her as a casual mate and won't rely on her.

I have no female friends and I have absolutely no interest in finding any. I'm very happy with the way my life is.

Thanks for your comments. Definetly not going to try anymore. I was worrying and thinking what have I done to deserve this but I will focus on other things. I don't want to be all desperate about it.
I won't be saying anything to my friend, i will just give her the slow fade.
I find that some women want to moan, tell you all their problems and it isn't good in the long run.
I find my older friends who don't live close by are much more reliable maybe because we don't see each other that much.
Now that I have placed less on female friendships it seems very liberating 😀

• less emphasis

I find your question and the above responses really puzzling.

You’re all talking as if women are just some amorphous mass and indistinguishable from each other, with no individual characteristics or traits. As if your experience of friendship with one or a few women is a reasonable predictor of how friendships with any woman will be.

But I think you’re all women. Do you really feel that you yourselves are indistinguishable from any other woman and that friendship with you is just like friendship with any other woman? Surely you don’t think that.

I’ve got some great female friends and some great male friends - and a few great non-binary friends too.

In all cases, we’re friends because, as individuals, we get on and relate well to each other ie it’s about the person, not their gender. Isn’t that the point rather than casually writing off about 50% of the population, particularly when you’re part of that 50%!?

This is my feeling about female friends too OP. I have made all the effort with my friends but its a one way street. I think unless you're in your 20s or early 30s female friends are difficult to maintain. I also find that they get more judgemental as they age, some annoyingly condescending.

I'm now going my own way and will just look to people who I have something in common with in the future be that male or female.

Not all women are the same you just haven't found the right friends. My friends in my 20s were mostly men, and they nearly all wandered off once they got married and stopped making any effort. So it's people who can awful, not just women.

I've discovered that when things are crap or go wrong it's female friends who will be there.

Just to add, I don't have a gang of female friends and I don't have a "best friend". I make friends with people I like, whether male or female.

Not all women are that way or all men. Think thats pretty obvious. I am talking of my own personal experience at the moment.
I think the person i am friends with is not worth bothering with. I don't need this.
You get to meet some lovely people that's true but I am definetly relying on myself much more. I always thought i needed friends and I probably do but I will definetly be more cautious about who they are. I will keep the old ones who are reliable and have integrity.

Op Im like you. Not willing to keep chasing either. I realised with 1 if I dont keep chasing her.. I dont need that in a friend. I think group things can be good as a few people in them. I had one friend busy busy busy could not pin her to dates. Then she was out with my sister. I stopped being a mug since that.

I'd be lost without my female friendships. I struggled when I was a child/teenager to make girl friends, I found boys easier, but as I've got older, since having kids really, I've found other women to be a tremendous source of support and have made some very deep friendships.

I only have one female friend at the moment. I will be honest that I lack female friendships as I just don't have a lot to talk about with other females and emotional bonding with females makes me uncomfortable. I am a more practical person. In saying that though I do get along with my work colleagues who are all female.

When I look back the majority of my friendships with other women have been situational...school, college, uni, workplace, baby group,etc. Some friendships endured afterwards but many fade, I think a lot of it is that as we age there are less of shared situations.

I just don't have a lot to talk about with other females and emotional bonding with females makes me uncomfortable. I am a more practical person

I can’t be doing with this … this is top “I’m not like other women” territory. If you exist with your particular propensity towards the practical then it follows that there are other women in the world like you. If you don’t want female friends then fair enough. I find my friends lift me up and I’m happy to have found a great new circle of friends this year. I certainly hope never to be in the position of many posters on here with problems who will proclaim not to have friends in real life…. That’s when all this talk of “ I don’t need friends” comes crashing down.

Well unfortunately that's just the way I feel. I am sorry to hear you can't be doing with this.