Why aren't the police doing anything?

[AtmyWitsEnd1234]

A couple of weeks ago my ex partner came to my house where I live with my children and smashed up both of my cars. He was later arrested and bailed not to contact me directly ot indirectly, only a 3rd party for childcare. He's continued to contact me, hundreds of messages and calls, leaving voicemails. If I block he then starts doing the same to my family and friends. He's said really vile things.
I've had to leave my home because me and my children and so scared. He had never been violent before a few weeks ago but was always emotionally abusive.
Since then he's also broken into my house and trashed it and I'm even more scared to go back.
The police aren't doing anything about the fact he's broke his bail. I don't know what to do. I'm petrified.
I've called womens aid and they are going to allocate me someone, but I just feel nobody will take me seriously until he physically hurts me.

My ex did similar but was also a violent lunatic. He was released on bail, no one told me despite me calling 100s of times and the first place he came was to my house (breaking bail conditions). He also called me up to 300 times a day until I had to change my number. Police did absolutely nothing and dropped the case 6 months later without telling me.

He's now in jail for stalking me but this took over a year of hell and a lot of calling/emailing/collecting evidence.

Police are shit and at times actively made things a lot worse for me

Who is your MP? Hopefully you’ve got someone with a brain.
if you don’t know you can find him/ her here members.parliament.uk/FindYourMP Tell your MO you want them to contact the police and the Crime Commissioner.
Speak to Victim Support.
The police should have installed a camera and an emergency button in your house —- they can get funding for this. Sounds like someone is being lazy, can’t be bothered doing their job. DV is supposed to be high priority in all police forces in UK.
Decide exactly what you want — him to be arrested if he breaks bail conditions, a camera installed, an emergency call button.

So sorry you are going through this OP. Try contacting www.paladinservice.co.uk/
They do incredible work.

Thank you. Very useful info I will find them and contact them now.

On the limited detail provided I'd be going for a charge and remand on the night when he's in custody if I was dealing with your case. On the basis that bail isn't appropriate because he's committing offences on bail.
Even if he did go to court tomorrow after a charge was authorised, he'd still likely be bailed from the court but at least you would then have your charge, then the trial process can quicken up and you can put forward your preference towards a restraining order etc. It sounds like you haven't had a very good experience with whichever department is dealing with your case OP, when was the last time you called police and when was the last bail breach?

Last time has been today. Over 150 messages between me and family. Plus voice notes and messages. Threats to find where me and the children are.

How appalling and frustrating.

I don’t know what to say.

Escalate to a Complaint against the police? As in immediately? Ring them and email them now to do this. Don’t take no for an answer. I would. Sounds like they are not doing their job.

Just appalling. Try and keep your head, keep calm, keep trying to get advice and help on all fronts, Womens aid, MP, etc. But as for the Police, I would be going for the jugular right. this. minute.

Contact the Chief Constable, the local crime commissioner, the ipcc, the leader of your local council and your .MP. one email cc in all the above. Do it now op send the emails tonight don't waste any more time. Good luck please look after yourself go to parents or friends xx

Police do not give a shit about this sort of thing.

My ex vandalised my car, made threats etc, and police did fuck all. They would knock on his door, he wouldn’t answer it and they would just leave.
One of the female officers was clearly frustrated. She was told by her CO to stop investigating. I lost all faith.

Op you need to call again for the further breach, have you called already today? Call again and explain that he is still breaching his bail.

Back up all the messages and texts somewhere, take screenshots of them and email them to yourself or someone else now.

Keep all windows and doors locked and if you can have someone else there with you then do until the police arrive.

You write a complaint to the police commander stating you fear for yours & child's safety. Watch how they then respond. Go on their twitter/social media page and highlight the lack of victim support. Write to your MP, bloody shame them into taking you seriously. Shout very loudly but not on MN. Every time he breaches email the officer. Don't take your foot off the gas.

Emailing MPs and commanders is all well and good but these are not 24 HR services you need to be attended tonight and details of the breach recorded and evidence gathered they he needs nicking and remanding.
Call police again and find out why nobody has been out. DV is priority and you haven't said specifically when the last time you called the actual control room was or when the original incident happened but they won't despatch anyone until you call it in.

Also don't email the officer, they could have 4 rest days in one go so not see it for that long. You have to call the control room

This is awful to read. I've dealt with other cases who have breached bail conditions & have been re-arrested as soon as. It's even worse that 3rd parties including IDVAs have reported breach of police bail & nothing is being done. Awful awful awful.

Like someone said upthread, a charge and remand would seem appropriate given the risk of harm posed to you and the fact that he is continuing to engage in these behaviours while being on bail.

Hopefully he is arrested and remanded.

Police bail really isnt worth the paper it's written on.

You should have had a IDVA assigned to you, and they can help get a non molestation order.

Police can install target hardening on your property, or the IDVA can arrange it.

DV is meant to be a police priority, not to mention it falls under the umbrella of antisocial behaviour and this week is ASB Awareness Week!!

Ask for a tag to be put on your address and when he turns up phone police they have to respond immediately.it worked for me and made me feel safer.
Also phone victim support I never found them helpful but others have

Just trying to gather emails addresses for all people mentioned in the thread before I send the email.
Police have finally called me back but they can't do anything right now, if at all they have said. I'm so pissed off.

OP where the fuck do you live because something seriously isn't adding up here.

If what you have said is correct, you have an active DV case which is pending CPS decision and the perpetrator has been bailed, he has breached this bail (repeatedly) including actively threatening to come to your house to get to you and your dc (is this verbally or written down?) You have evidence of these messages.
You are in such fear that you have had to vacate your property and go somewhere else instead.

You've called the control room and they said 'theres nothing they can do'?

It is making no sense to me. This should be a priority DV call, so that's the next level down from a top level emergency (sirens and blue lights) so it means it should be attended by the next available crew who become free.

Why would they say there's nothing they can do. Are you absolutely sure he definitely has bail conditions? Everything you said so far is pointing towards that he does so I'm not questioning your truth I am just flabbergasted with what you are saying.

You can make a non molestation order application online, I think it’s free. This has a power of arrest attached to it

OP in the meantime whilst you are waiting for your local force to pull their fingers out their arse (seriously hope it isn't who I work for) can I suggest you do the following for now.

As I said before, save all of the messages somewhere, screenshot them and send to yourself make copies incase something should happen to your phone tonight eh accidentally dropping it in water etc. Just back up all the evidence.

Sit down and make a chronological list of ALL the contact you have had from him since his bail release until now.

Block him on all platforms, everything. He knows he isn't to contact you so he has no reason to try. If this has been antagonising him and meaning he uses third parties to reach you, this is a further breach of his bail because he also can't contact you 'indirectly'.

The family members who have also had unwanted contact from him, get them to do the exact same steps as above. When officers attend having this information to hand will be invaluable. The chronological list of times and dates and exactly what happened is most important.

Write down a list of his known addresses, places he visits, friends and associates and where he is likely to be found at what time of the day. Include vehicle registration numbers, work places, telephone numbers for him and his family/friends. This will really quicken the process if he decides to hide from the police if he knows he's wanted.

Yes all absolutely true. I'm actually horrified. They don't appear to be concerned because we don't think he knows where we are but it is a matter of time.

I am having a nightmare trying to find emails. I have got MP and PCC and director of law for local council. I can't seem to find an email for a complaint as it wants you to do it online.

Thank you. All of this has been done. Everything written, screenshots etc. I'm absolutely stumped.

Im sorry to tell you but I've had 5 years of this and unbelievably hes never been prosecuted. Ive been told by the police to suck it up as i made a poor life choice marrying him.

I did this too. Not coersive behaviour according to the police if you are no longer together. No crime for post separation abuse... its a toxic breakup. Harrsssment orders to stop him contacting me but its ok because he was asking about the children which he has a right to do... the threats and torment were ignored... hes just being a dad.