Trust

[Stacie1991]

Where do I start so myself & partner have been together for 11 years over the last year my intuition is screaming at me that something isn’t right about my partner let me explain about a year ago he become friendly with a female coworker and it was just that friendly but I noticed a shift in his behaviour that threw me a little so my partner has never done social media isn’t his thing but I noticed he had now been using social media to connect with the female coworker liking pictures viewing her content ect now this is completely harmless but it’s so out of character for him like he’ll scroll past a picture of me with his children and not like or comment as it’s just not his thing but he does for her pictures but it’s no big deal and tried not to read to much into it then I later found out they were talking in the evenings on the phone whilst I was asleep several times a week pages & pages of chat nothing in the chat was out of line just general chat with a friend but after the social media thing now all the late evening chats it just made me feel uneasy I mean they see each other all day at work why did he feel the need to chat all night whilst at home with family just didn’t sit right with me when I confronted him his reaction seemed off like a kid who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t be but assured me she’s just a friend I explained it wasn’t that they were chatting by phone it’s how often and the amount they were talking after work that didn’t feel right it was becoming daily at one stage he seemed to understand why that may look shady and said he rain it in a little …more time passes and I’ve noticed they will take long phone calls whilst he’s out alone the times & dates all add up to when he’s running errands deep down I don’t trust him he has been unfaithful before during my pregnancy with sadly ended as a miscarriage this was a very difficult time for me as I was dealing with my partners infidelity then days later losing my baby so I know this could be all my insecurities coming out but there friendship feels off and I can’t shake it..

I think you know the answer, don't you 😕? Given his history, he should not be forming new friendships with women. He's either having an affair or is building up to one.

I agree with pp. this would make me feel totally uneasy and shouldnt be the behaviour of someone in a long term, committed relationship.

im dealing with something similar but it’s in its earlier stages than where you are. Honestly why do men want to act single when they’re not 🙄

I was like you many years ago and let it ride- 10 years later I found out it was an obsessional crush at the time for around a year , mainly on his part and he wrote mills and boon type stuff about it that I found stuffed away. If I had found out at the time I would have dumped him - I would need to get to the bottom of it I'm afraid in your case- but you are more likely to do so by acting normal and not confronting again-

Past behavior is the best way to predict future behavior.

This is how all affairs begin OP. No one just gets into bed immediately (ok some do) but generally they start with innocent chats, phone calls, then they get longer and deeper and a connection sparks and then . . .

Even IF it is JUST a friendship, he has no business spending that much time, which is YOUR family time on her. Do they not have enough time at work that he has to squeeze her into home time.

He needs to end that 'friendship' and stop all chats and calls. Yes it's difficult as they work together but that's what they should be limited to anyway, being colleagues not friends!

Thank you all for your replies and advice It’s really appreciated x