Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH doesn’t want sex anymore

34 replies

Lunatoons · 21/07/2022 00:24

He says he still loves and fancies me. He says nothing is wrong or has changed between us. We’ve been together 10 years and up until now we have always had a healthy sex life. I don’t understand and I don’t know what to do. It’s destroying me.

OP posts:
Blackmoggy · 22/07/2022 11:17

KangarooKenny · 22/07/2022 07:58

He doesn’t want sex, you do, so it’s the end of the relationship if he’s not going to attempt to solve the problem.

So helpful....

Do you always diagnose peoples relationships as over on MN?

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 22/07/2022 11:24

OP, do get him to see his GP. There may be something physically or mentally wrong that he’s not facing up to. Loss of sex drive can result from a lot of different health conditions, and many if them can be treated. But as always, better to get a diagnosis sooner than later.

KangarooKenny · 22/07/2022 11:50

Blackmoggy · 22/07/2022 11:17

So helpful....

Do you always diagnose peoples relationships as over on MN?

Show quote history

It’s a public forum. You’re allowed an opinion, but obviously not in your eyes.

jammiewhammie65 · 22/07/2022 14:27

Lunatoons · 21/07/2022 23:24

I tried talking to him about it tonight and didn’t get anywhere. He isn’t having an affair. He is still interested in masturbating/ porn. He said he’s still attracted to me just doesn’t want sex. Doesn’t know why. And I’m supposed to just accept it and live this way forever?! I don’t think I can. He dared to say he’s gotten tired of always being the one who initiates things. I admit that traditionally has been our pattern but recently I have initiated plenty. And been rejected plenty.

So he would rather wank to porn than have sex with his wife. That is very hurtful. What about your needs ? What about your feelings. You do t have to just accept this. I would suggest counselling Has he got some or pent up resentment towards you for not initiating so he is withholding as some form of punishment !

LoveLifeBeHappy · 25/11/2024 12:52

jammiewhammie65 · 21/07/2022 08:25

This seems very strange. So has he lost his sex drive altogether ? Does he still masturbate ? If he still has a sex drive then he would want sex surely ? If he has lost his drive he needs to visit the doctors You need to talk to him more.

Why is it that when men don't want to have sex, there's a need for them to visit a doctor?

Some men are just not into it.

Disturbia81 · 26/11/2024 10:15

@LoveLifeBeHappy Exactly, we've got so used to seeing so many men be sex maniacs that we think something must be drastically wrong when they don't want it. Judging by the amount of threads where the husbands don't want it then it needs to be a more well known thing. Many men just aren't bothered by it.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 26/11/2024 10:37

Disturbia81 · 26/11/2024 10:15

@LoveLifeBeHappy Exactly, we've got so used to seeing so many men be sex maniacs that we think something must be drastically wrong when they don't want it. Judging by the amount of threads where the husbands don't want it then it needs to be a more well known thing. Many men just aren't bothered by it.

I completely agree. In almost every thread on a similar topic, there are always people who say, 'He needs to see his GP.' It gets really annoying.

If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to—whether or not he has a sex drive.

Original poster
Lunatoons · 26/11/2024 13:08

Just to come back to my thread as I see a few recent comments, DH did see a GP and was diagnosed with depression/ stress. He’s doing much better now and our relationship is in a much better place.

OP posts:
WildCats24 · 26/11/2024 18:40

I love a good update! You just made my day, OP.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page