What's wrong with me?

[LonelyInAutumn]

Ever since I was a child, I have been argumentative. Usually with older people (relatives or teachers) never my friends, cousins or people my age. My mom and I fall out because of my argumentativeness. The arguments usually start because she's asked me to do something and I haven't done it. It's not that I'm choosing not to do what she's asked but, I usually forget what she's said as soon as she's said it (and if I ask again I get accused of not listening).

If I'm honest, it doesn't matter who has asked me to do something, I will forget straight away so I have to do things as soon as someone has said and usually, I'll start doing something else whilst forgetting about the other thing and tbh I'm getting fed up with myself.

Not sure if it's relevant but I have a history of anxiety and depression and have been suffering from trichotillomania (trich for about 16 years now) due to childhood trauma and I'm not sure if this is where my argumentativeness has come from. On top of this, I get very irritated quickly and I'm very impatient which also leads to arguments.

I'm not really sure what to do, has anyone experienced anything similar?

I think that this is something you need to discuss with a therapist. You mention childhood trauma and this is probably the root cause. But you need to find tools to change the way that you react badly to specific stimuli.

Could be so many things, including possibly ADHD/ADD?

Have you ever been your GP about any of these issues? Have you been referred to a psychotherapist?

Those are the first steps to getting to the bottom of why you are reacting the way you are

Well, do you manage to remember to do things people have asked when they're things you enjoy/want to do?

I have a colleague like this - anything boring or time consuming or difficult you ask them to do, "oh I forgot" but they conveniently never forget after work drinks and the like.

It could be ADHD, people with it can have forgetfulness and frequently have suffered with other mental health problems. They also often have difficulty regulating their emotions.

With ADHD the person can be fine remembering things that interest them/less forgetful with that.

It doesn't mean the problem isn't real though, and they would find it hard to get round to chores and might easily forget requests for things like that people have made.

Sometimes I find it hard to remember fun things e.g plans made with friends unless they text me (can't make arrangements too far in advance) but a lot of the times I forget even the tiniest things e.g last week, my mom asked me to throw a lettuce in the bin outside, I was going out anyway and I even saw the lettuce on the side to take out and then I still managed to forget.

Also, I'm not in therapy at the moment as the waiting list is very long with the NHS and private therapy in my city is about £80 per hour. I did have therapy before, however the issues I've mentioned didn't seem as prominent as they do now