Heartbroken. Help.

[Runningforever]

I have gone through a horrible, horrible break up and had my heart broken - which hasn’t happened in over 10 years of dating.

Usually I am pretty resilient and strong and I am able to think positively and move on. But this one has knocked me and I am hurting very deeply.

I am extremely sad and finding little enjoyment in life. My life has changed considerably since the covid pandemic and most of my friends have moved away and I have lost many close relationships. I can try to get some back. But I miss him. He was my best friend.

I know what to do after a break up - self care, surround myself with friends and family, plan new activities etc.

But none of it is appealing and feels like so much effort, especially at my age. I cannot continue feeling so upset and low though. I have to gather all my strength and push through.

I am feeling so sorry for myself and very lonely. Isn’t life meant to get easier?

I also have the added pressure of my biological clock - it’s ticking loudly. I had a quick look on the dating apps, even though I am not ready, and hardly anyone wants to date women in their late 30s now.

Not sure why I am posting. Advice anyone?

bump

No real advice but sending a warm hug.

One time when my heart was broken I was thinking of him every second of the day. Sleep eluded me too.

Then, one day I realised I hadn’t thought about him too much in the last few hours.

Then it was a much longer spell and so on until weeks turned into months and he faded to a space I could cope with. I’d turned a corner. It was like dealing with grief.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and book a trip away for later this summer. You absolutely know this will pass and one day you’ll see it for what it is/was and may be glad you’re freeeeee!

The world is your oyster, embrace it as soon as you feel able to do so. X

It's early days, take time to grieve for the end of your relationship. Take it one day at a time, and it will slowly become more manageable.

Thanks both, really lovely replies. I know it's a matter of time, but I cannot stand feeling like this. Usually I can flip a switch and I put it to the back of my mind.

I have no one close anymore. No one to meet up with. No one to plan a summer holiday with. I guess loneliness is playing a horrible role here, as I feel very alone. I used to have many friends.

Heartbreak is horrible. You will get there. Make little plans. Meet that friend for coffee you haven’t seen for a while. Maybe write a bucket list and consider things you would like to do for you. When you feel stronger you can make bigger plans. Have a think about how to make new friends and try new things. Sending love.

"hardly anyone wants to date women in their late 30s now." - Is this true?

Life certainly does not get 'easier'.
But I met my husband at 39 and we went on to have two kids. Just give yourself time, don't think about relationships for awhile and just enjoy yourself.

I can't offer dating advice - my track record is bloody awful! I pick the worst of them! 🤣
What I can tell you is that I had baby on my own and am planning on another and I'm older than you. I wish I had done it sooner and not waited for "the one" to begin family planning. Just a thought for you.