secret proposal

[bernfinn89]

my and bf have been together over 4 years..he lived roughly 2 hours away from me when we met.. when we started getting serious covid hit his dad has major health problem's so this caused us not getting to know each other well. things sarted to be ok with covid his dad got it was fine etc so i gradually started to get to know them as much as possible with the distance and kids etc..so last new years eve he proposed i said yes.. we agreed to keep it between us until we both got to know our families more ( he has since relocated to near my town) anyway so about a month after the proposal he called to my house and announced he had told my parents about the proposal without my knowlwdge.. which i then assumed wud be time to tell his family.. but no..SIX MONTHS has passed and not once has he mentioned telling them or anyone from his family. he gets on well with family speaks to them regularly sees them every week at least once.. gonna bring this up later on today and see what he says.. im very offended to be honest, from what i can tell i get on well with his parents but his reluctance to tell them has me majorly concerned

If he told your parents then surely you get to tell his family?

Is there a religious or cultural context which explains why a) you felt it was important to know each other’s families well before you could progress the relationship and b) why you wouldn’t announce something as monumental as a proposal right away?

Because otherwise it seems quite unusual. Most people would be eager to announce to their family that they’ve met “the one” and are going to get married. Does he perhaps feel your parents would be upset with him for not asking their permission or at least letting them know? Are you / he / they quite traditional?

I had one like that (or worse.) It wasn't a real engagement. The whole point of an engagement is that it's public.

Also unless you set a date it isn't a full engagement. It's like kids getting 'engaged.'