This is clearly not right - but is it legal???

[welliemum]

Link to thread here

Basically her is DH taking all his wages for himself (and she does all the childcare AND has her own job in the evening.)

Is there any legal avenue she could explore here?

She sounds like a hero to be coping with this, but this is domestic abuse isn't it.

If you are in london - look at this.

Services for Asian women who have experienced domestic violence. Telephone helpline. Emotional support, group work and counselling

Sorry to post again, but I just noticed you said he dragged you out to beat you when you were bathing DS - this is another string to the DV bow (obviously).

Please, try to get some help from these agencies - they are free, confidential and brilliant resources.

Mehdismum - no further advice, just wanted you to know i was watching this thread and thinking of you. i am near London if you want to meet for a coffee and a chat someday.

Mehdismum - no further advice, just wanted you to know i was watching this thread and thinking of you. i am near London if you want to meet for a coffee and a chat someday.

hope you get some help and advice, sounds like a terrible situation... lots of support for you here

i am british born and i find it very hard to understand why dh behaves like this. My mil tells me this is normal in algeria. Fil never ever lifted a finger. From what i can gather was very strict with his kids. But not a great deal of play went on or emotional love. Taught dh how to swim by throwing him in. Mil just treats dh like baby when he is home. Violence to women is normal for them. Shown on soap operas. I dont think dh knows how to treat woman properly as he has never experienced parents showing any kind of emotion to each other. He thinks men are weak who show it

Message withdrawn

spoke to caseworker at surestart. She is coming to see me. Read the guide on web. And going to ring camden safety net monday. I would really prefer to move from london but scared of being alone. I am a coward because i know this is not right. Gonna try and save money to move out. Just cant seem to find that final part to actually leave. I know most algeriams are not like dh. But some our and your bf is lucky to have found a decent man. I blame his mother because she brought him up to think it was ok. When ye were there once he hit me in the face. They knew about it because they saw my obvious distress ds was only six months at time. And still mil did nothing. Sil recently confessed she was shocked by his behaviour. She was shocked but still did nothing or said anything. He just gone out to get us meat. He also said he would give me some money. I am gonna try to talk to him about his behaviour as soon as i can get him in a mood where he will listen

My ex mil never did anything either through all my abuse (I think she was abused too - differently though). We lived with them and they completely ignored it.

You ARE strong enough. You are NOT a coward - they are lies you have been fed to keep you in your place.

Please save safely - that sounds ridiculous but as soon as he realises the plan, he will increase his abuse (most likely). Women's Aid site has all sorts of handy tips (in the booklet I linked to) that keeps you safe and tells you what to do if things get worse or whatever.

If you remember anything, remember this...

You deserve safety. Your DS deserves safety. You deserve to be happy and free.

i have seperate bank account. Thanks for your advice. Did you leave your abuser

Mehdismum we spoke before on the arabic thread, I was just thinking of you & wondering how you were getting on when I saw this thread {{hugs}}

You sound like a really strong person who would be able to cope on your own if you did leave DH, you already work, do all childcare & housework... plus from your posts you sound like a nice person, and if you ever did move to a different area you'd probably make friends there & not be on your own.

Don't let your DH or Mil tell you that this behaviour is normal in Algeria

Mehdismum we spoke before on the arabic thread, I was just thinking of you & wondering how you were getting on when I saw this thread {{hugs}}

You sound like a really strong person who would be able to cope on your own if you did leave DH, you already work, do all childcare & housework... plus from your posts you sound like a nice person, and if you ever did move to a different area you'd probably make friends there & not be on your own.

Don't let your DH or Mil tell you that this behaviour is normal in Algeria

sorry double post. plus was interupted by crying baby, just wanted to say that this isn't normal in Algeria, and even if it was, you don't have to put up with it in London.

I live too far to offer practical support but am always around if you ever want a chat

hello,
just caught up with this with time difference.
That's the way to go. I'm so glad to see you have made a shift in your mind and is now convinced this is not acceptable behaviour.
Hope you can get some sense into him to treat you better. But continue with your plans to find a way out. Keep all your options open.
Take care.