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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

For the independent...

6 replies

Milou89 · 19/07/2022 19:37

Hi! Single for the last 3 years. I'm 32 and don't want children. I have my own little flat and really enjoy living alone. The house is cleaner, doing what I want when I want, waking up in my place enjoying my latte....Really don't miss living with a man. But....I miss having a man in my life. Someone who's more than a friend, not just for sex. Someone with whom I can share hobbies, doing all sort of activities, cuddle in front of a movie...I dont want à FWB as I have to really feel something for the other person to be intimate with...But at the same time, don't want to loose my liberty, not feeling ready to compromise again. Is it possible to be in that kind of relationship ? For the ones like me, how do you do?

OP posts:

RSitf · 19/07/2022 20:23

Hi, no answer I’m afraid but I feel exactly the same!

drlel · 19/07/2022 20:25

It actually sounds exactly like my relationship although mine is like this due to my situation rather than because this is how I'd want it (I have a young Dd and wouldn't move anyone in with us for a few years at least).

While it's not what I'd ideally have in mind, I feel I'm really enjoying it. It's like having the best of both worlds for now (I think longer term id personally prefer to live with someone).

I think they key is finding someone like minded. You just need to be really open and up front about what you're looking for and not settle unless you're fully on the same page

PringlePoppin · 19/07/2022 20:26

Of course you can. I've been with my DP 4 years. We have no intention of living together or getting married. Just need to find someone who wants the same as you.

It's perfect.

Natty13 · 19/07/2022 20:32

I loved like you for a long time. I had a lot of men in my life - friends, colleagues, brothers. To be fair my profession and main hobby are saturated with gay men so naturally a lot of my friends are. It's not a conscious choice but I have to say I am a lot more relaxed around men I know won't try to bed me at any point

Mimi198 · 19/07/2022 20:45

Is it something common ? Is it difficult to find lol? I feel people my age (32) are more looking for long-term relationship, starting a family, buying a house....All the things I do not want lol

CalistoNoSolo · 19/07/2022 20:51

Been with my DP for around 8 years now. We don't live together and I'm in no rush to either. When DD moves out we will probs spend more nights together, but tbh three nights a week is enough right now. There are no laws about how you want your relationship to work, and societal expectations are often outdated and restrictive.

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