Married 20 years.
long term selfish lazy husband- much better over last two years
long term inability to understand my emotions… dismissive, patronising, questioning of them
some effort over last year to spend time together
marrige counselling was pointless as he didn’t take much on board and I essentially paid to bang my head against a brick wall
he acts like a child mostly in a crisis/ argument with teenagers - he sticks up for them / thier view of “it’s not fair”
we argue a lot
he seems to have two personalities
can’t manage his own emotions as in gets angry if other people are arguing , gets moody if someone else is in a mood- rather than helping them
couldnt think of any thing in marriage counselling he wanted me to do differently … until we argue then will throw random stuff at me , like a child “
well you do the same”
so defensive
oh gosh this is awful …. He’s sometimes really sweet and sometimes, sometimes reflective when everything has been exhaustedly explained
will sometimes but me flowers offer me drinks offer meal out
I can’t cope with the push pull
Can’t imagine a life without him … but can’t work out why
he tells me “I’m not going to change”
I have no confidence in some ways …
I wander what life would be like with some one else…. But not sure anyone else would like me or may have a 100 worse qualities than husband
worried worst time ever as have gcse and children
they won’t forgive me for chucking out a lovely daddy
tried just disengaging - works to a point - wandering if achievable over the next 4 years?
please go easy …. This sounds brutal …. But I genuinely need advice or info from those who have been there.