How to help my exH (Dad'se dad) during his breakup, it's affecting our DD

[Onlyrainbows]

My exH broke up with her girlfriend of years. They never lived together and ultimately wanted different things. According to my DD he just cries all day and stays in his room. Ultimately, she ends up looking after him. I feel bad for him, but I don't think a 12yo should have to deal with this either. Any tips or ideas?

Have a word with your ex and explain that his behaviour around your dd is unacceptable and if it continues you will need to suspend contact to protect/safeguard your dd until he is capable of parenting her instead of him expecting a 12 year old child to take care of him and perhaps suggest he talks to his gp (if you have the sort of relationship where you can)

Stop sending your DC round to their dads.

He used to go to therapy but I don't know if he still does (I don't think so). He'll never go to a GP in 8 year of marriage he never did, and he never will. Her dad's house is "her" house and that's the village where her friends are, I doubt she'll want to be away from them.

Tell him he’s got to get his act together or she won’t be coming over. She’s far too young to be dealing with this level of responsibility. Friends are great but I’m sure you can facilitate that and she shouldn’t be going there to care for him when he needs to get whatever help he needs.

I can facilitate to an extent, but can't give her the same experience. Her best friends literally live next door, and I live 30mins away (and work FT). But I'll have a chat with her and see what she'd prefer. Although I agree that tending to her father's depression isn't ideal.