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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I just hormonal?

5 replies

grepahl · 17/07/2022 19:49

I’m so low. I’m pregnant so don’t want to make a rash decision. My DP is difficult, or maybe I’m just expecting far too much and I’m just hormonal? He’s never wants any intimacy, even when I instigate it he rarely responds. I ask if he wants to see a film, go for a meal, cook something nice, book a holiday (paid for by me) and I get nothing much back just vague agreement and no real engagement. Whenever I’ve gone away for the night and we’ve text or called to say goodnight, he’s quite drunk. He drinks most evenings anyway just not to the point of being drunk.

At weekends he seems almost annoyed to have to spend any chunk of the day together. Seeing my family is like a huge inconvenience to him and it shows the second we get in the car, quiet, irritable etc.

i know being bought things isn’t a mark of love but in all my other relationships I was often bought the odd bracelet or flowers etc. I can’t remember DP ever doing anything thoughtful for me like that.

He’s not all bad, he is quite practical and not at all mean with money. But I feel so alone most of the time. He will get home and be silent, when I was in bed in early pregnancy feeling very sick, he’d often comment that other women have physical work during pregnancy and no luxury to work from their laptop in bed. I just feel like I don’t matter to him. Though he was nice during morning sickness when I was physically being sick.

I don’t know if I’m expecting too much. It all feels very weird. I feel alone. Am I being hormonal? Will it pass?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/07/2022 20:10

What are you doing with such a man?. You write he is quite practical and not mean with money; those seem to be his only “good” points and it’s no basis for a relationship. There’s nothing at all about the two of you actually loving each other in your post.

How old are you now and how long have you two been together?.
What sort of a father do you think he will be to his child given how he treats you now?. He could well behave exactly the same towards his child with you raising the child.

Do you think he is also overtly dependent on alcohol?.

grepahl · 17/07/2022 20:13

I don’t know. We’ve been together a few years and he’s got worse over time really. I do love him but feel really sad when he’s like this. He’s 44 soon and I suggested we went away for his birthday and he just said that he didn’t want to do anything as he prefers to just reflect on things himself on his birthday

i feel like I can’t do anything right at all.

OP posts:
bembridge11 · 17/07/2022 23:28

Why did you choose this man? Only you can know what you saw in him
You havent told us much that is positive - but I assume there are reasons you fell in love with him

Happy40something · 18/07/2022 00:46

Please get out while your still young . He is showing you no emotional support. This will only get worse the longer your with him . It seems he has already emotionally left the relationship .

CalistoNoSolo · 18/07/2022 13:06

Why are you with him? Why do you love him? Do you think he deserves your love and respect? He sounds absolutely horrible to me.

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