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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I hate myself right now!

5 replies

Hiyahellohx · 17/07/2022 15:08

Hey MN!
Im feeling pretty crappy right about now. Been married 9 years.
Hes a wonderful man,has his faults but who doesnt ay? Before him i was in and out of terrible relationships, he got up at 5 this morning,he said to watch football (his team play,as it was away) which i thought was odd but still i went to sleep! I figured in the morning,he took his 2 phones downstairs(ones a normal phone,ones a work phone he contacts me on and close family), i asked him why he took them both,he said it was habit (he gets up at 5 for work) he joked about saying do i want to ask him anymore questions, but i couldnt help reading his msgs, iv done it a couple of times before, he doesnt say anything when i go on his phone,vice versa, feeling pretty shitty now though, cant help but feel he deserves better than this, he is a great man, tells me im beautiful all the time etc. I dont know why i did it, i dont think i will ever 100% trust anyone and maybe thats it, i wished i could! Only reason iv came on here is because i have no friends to talk to sadly.

OP posts:
PoppyDrug · 17/07/2022 15:19

If you go looking for things one day you’ll find something that you don’t like.
Why are you treating him like a child?
if you continue one day he may leave. Imagine if the roles were reversed and hi did you what you do to him!

Hiyahellohx · 17/07/2022 15:24

I dont at all treat him like a child.
And he could go on my phone happily. I could go on his.
I just have trust issues, i assume im not good enough, which i get isnt his problem. And certainly isnt his fault.

OP posts:
Hiyahellohx · 17/07/2022 15:26

Also he didnt know i looked at his texts.
He saw me with his phone & he joked in a playfull voice,saying look at you checking to see if theres any ladies.
Which we both say daft things like that to eachother. Hel mess about saying im cheating etc..

OP posts:
TeapotTitties · 17/07/2022 15:36

I'm not sure what you want from this thread?
Are you hoping people will tell you your behaviour is ok?

Hiyahellohx · 17/07/2022 15:44

No, i know its not okay, im not sure why i wrote on MN to be honest, maybe someone to tell me they understand, but its wrong, i really dont know.

OP posts:
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