Is this a red flag?

[Rosie19901]

Hey
My best friends friend said that my partner approached her in the pub asking if she had a sister and some other small talk - he didn’t know her , she said no and then she left.
After she left my partner added her on Instagram and then messaged her saying ‘Hope you don’t mind the random add , was nice to meet you’
She read the message and screenshot it so I could see it. He then deleted the message.

I know there was nothing suggestive in the message but am I right to feel he had intention for messaging in the first place?

Thanks

It does seem a very odd thing to do. Have you been together long?

Sounds like he is trying to hook up with her, sorry.

Yep, he was fishing

Yes, don't doubt your gut telling you all you need to know.

Yes that's an approach with intentions to flirt / meet up / date.

Yeah seems like he’s gone in with the friendly approach to then chat to her further later.

He's fishing, think about it, he wouldn't of done this to a random guy in the pub. See it as a warning, that he can't be trusted.

Most definitely he was up to something. Why else would he message like that, he was testing the water with her.

Your friends are loyal though x

Sorry but yes, sounds like trying to chat up your friend then followed up on social media. If he'd made the connection that she knew you, or thought there was another reason to stay in touch e.g. business then he would have said that to her or in the message.

There are no good reasons for him to have done this, only bad ones. Sorry, OP - that must have been a shock and upsetting.

So I confronted him about it - he started to pretend that he didn’t know what girl I was talking about . Then I said I had the screenshot of the message to which he then said he couldn’t remember sending.
Baring in mind he was driving so only had 1 or 2 drinks - came home , walked the dog for an hour then decided to find her and message her on Instagram.
He’s now adamant he’s done nothing wrong as he’s single - even though he wanted to make things work with us and was committed ….

Single he is then. Don't entertain this duplicitous partner of yours.

You describe him as your partner and he describes himself as single? There's a big disconnect going on here.

Your best friend and partner haven't met?

@Cyberworrier it was her best friends friend. Not her best friend.

Yes, of course it’s a red flag 🚩

How can he be single if he is your partner?

Surely he knew she was your friend if he found her social media - strange!

Single/partner - whats going on?

Why does he consider himself single when you say he’s your partner?

If you’re not together he can do what he likes, which is it? Have you broken up but you’re still living together?

His intention was to strike up a conversation with her that would lead to meeting up, no question about it. There's nothing innocent about men tracking down women they barely know on social media.

He's acting like he's single, so let him be.

Eh? Is he claiming you were never even properly together? And you were? Wow.

Oh gawd. Block the loser right now!

A red flag isn't the other person's behaviour; it's your own feeling. The 'Huh? This feels a bit red flaggy to me... is it one?' feeling. If you're wondering if something is a red flag, it is.

Keep in mind that that feeling simply doesn't exist in healthy relationships, so if you get that feeling, you need to leave. It'll save you masses of complication/wondering/putting up with feeling off/discomfort, etc.