Husband won’t talk to me

[Booitsme726]

Last night I had a night out with some friends (male and female). We all got far too drunk and one friend (male) insisted on coming to my house for 1 more drink. I said no but he wouldn’t take me seriously and got in the taxi with me.

My parents were at home watching my children who were sleeping by this point and my mum managed to get my friend to leave with them which was great, I wasn’t wanting him in the house anyways. My husband is working away at the moment.

This morning my husband asked how the night was and I said fine but (friends name) was being very annoying and insisted on coming to the house but he left with my parents and he’s completely gone off on one and is refusing to speak to me. He is saying I must have invited him back and there would have only been one reason why he wanted to come in to the house.

I know I shouldn’t have let him in I understand that however I don’t think it’s the worst thing I could have done and I’ve told my husband about it, I’ve not hidden anything from him.

I’m feeling really rubbish about it 😭. I’ve apologised loads but he’s told me he doesn’t want to speak to me right now.

It's not your fault he has trust issues - you have been totally honest with him and he is being so disrespectful to disbelieve you. Why are you apologising? He can have a problem with this man - but not with you.

Tbf any sane husband would be more worried about your safety and asking if you are OK after a drunk man pretty much forced himself into your house.

Ask him why he is more concerned about his honour, his ego than his wife's safety.

That all sounds somberly tiresome.

Another alcohol-induced incident. How will you prevent this happening again?

Even if "only been one reason why he wanted to come in to the house" surely he knows you are perfectly capable of saying no? And your parents were there fgs you were hardly gonna shag the bloke in the marital bed.

If I'm honest I think he's projecting. He's blaming you for what he thinks this man wanted, because he thinks you wouldn't say no, as he wouldn't.

You shouldn't need to apologise at all, it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry your husband is a shit.

Except OP isn’t perfectly capable of saying no; this “friend” ended up in their house despite OP not wanting him to go back with her at all.

If I was the DH I’d have similar concerns tbh.

That was in response to @TibetanTerrah

Why didn't you say 'no, you are not coming to my house'. You are an adult, use your words.

Its very bizarre. Your DH shouldn't be a dick though.

Husband working away and you brought another man home?

That’s not OK. What do you mean by them “insisting”? They physically forced you?

I don't want to sound like I'm victim blaming here but did you firmly say 'no, i'm serious you're not coming in, goodnight' or were you laughing and joking about it ?
Just trying to gauge if you could have been in any danger or the guy thought it was all in good fun

Your husband's trust issues are his own. Tell him he's being a dick and if anything he should have been checking you were OK. Take no nonsense from him.

Your friend was very out of order, so ring him today - or tomorrow if you are hungover - and bollock him. Obviously your parents were there so you weren't in any danger, and I am not suggesting he meant you any harm, but no man should force his way into a woman's home.

@GCHeretic Don't be a dick. She didn't bring him home. He barged in. Her parents were there. It is not a loss of trust situation.

@GiltEdges I meant no to sex. With her parents right there!

Anyone with half a brain would have known exactly what this 'friend' was after, and I expect that everyone else you were out with, after seeing the two of you go off together, will think that he got it.

Your 'friend' sounds awful and disrespectful. Him pushing to come home with you makes me wonder what he'd have tried if your parents weren't there. Hopefully you'll avoid being in that position with him again.

Your husband has no right to punish you for this. It would be normal for him to be concerned, to worry how you ended up in that situation, to be a bit miffed about it. But to accuse you of things and refuse to talk to you? Not on. You've apologised, you don't need to do that again.

Your dh is angry with the wrong person. You probably did the appeasement thing we sometimes do in self defence when men behave forcefully to try not to escalate the situation, but you need stronger boundaries. Your dh probably worries about what would have happened if your parents weren't home in that he thinks you were in a dangerous position. Again though, he is angry with the wrong person.

Some drink people can be very insistent and unpleasant. Not your fault.

Your husband needs to up h is concern for you and stop acting like a prat.

I wouldn't worry about what other people think. You know what happened.

☝😂I love the sophistry and mental gymnastics to try to blame this on the hubby.