I’m struggling with relationships - I always have. I’m really trying to look to myself to see if actually I’m the problem as this keeps happening? I have ASD so I’m hyper aware and always evaluating everything.
From being very young I had lots of teachers disliking me . I remember I always tried my best and I would get told off for minor things or criticised unfairly. I got to a point where I realised certain teachers didn’t like me so I stopped trying and then I was actually misbehaving.
As a teen I did not get on with my mum (but I think that is fairly common ?)
Never had many friends and got made fun of a lot at school for ‘being weird’
in adult life I’ve had a lot of issues and always with women 50+ and I can’t work out why - I kept thinking I’m unlucky but I’m wondering am I doing something I’m not aware of ? All the teachers who disliked me were a similar age ?
i will get the occasional person who really likes me (2 teachers at school, 1 friend, dh) it’s like most people instantly dislike me nobody is indifferent and a very small amount really like me. But it’s a tiny amount I’d say 99% of people don’t like me and I need to know why.
I’ve now fallen out with MIL (I don’t think I was at fault but I keep going over all that’s been said) and it’s made me think I NEED to look at myself because I’m worried I am doing something but how do I do that ? Where do I start ? It’s upsetting me that this keeps happening - I don’t want to keep blaming others if it is me ? I feel like I need to somehow psychologically evaluate myself as I’m desperate to find out what is causing people to dislike me so often ?