What did you say in your wedding vows?

[Prunel]

I have to write my wedding vows and I’ve left it fairly last minute. - i get married in 4 weeks
the problem is I’ve only been to one wedding as an adult and they just did the compulsory ones and had a reading from the MOH

I’ve got a rough outline but I’m not really sure if I’ve got the tone right, or if I’ve made it too much like a speech instead of vows and I don’t know how long it’s meant to be
whats too long? Is it just meant to be a sentence or two?

Ha, gosh i have no idea. I assume it must be saved on an old laptop somewhere but honestly couldn’t tell you. 😂 Whatever it was, it did the trick as still happily married 12 years later.

Wishing you a lovely wedding day!

Are you in England or Wales and having a civil wedding? If you are, I'm sure your local register office will be able to give you lots of examples to choose from, and then there should be bits you could tweak too if you wanted. If it's a religious ceremony, your place of marriage should be able to do similarly. All the best.

I have little idea though we are very happily married. We are both fairly ambitious and wrote something to do with helping each other be their best selves/challenging each other etc. Didn't put anything about forsaking all others as found it a bit ick. I would just read a few and steal the bits you like. My wedding was 8 years ago and I can't remember so don't get too hung up on it.

My starting point would be what promises and commitments you want from your partner and check if they match what you want to give in return. Think about what makes a relationship work and weave that in. Come back and share ✍

"I promise to give to you everything I am and everything I will ever be. I value our relationship beyond measure and I promise to share your dreams and help you achieve your goals. I promise to listen to you with an open heart and an open mind, pledging my honesty, compassion, fidelity, and forgiveness. I promise to love you no matter what tomorrow brings. I will always be your most loyal friend and your loving wife because you are my heart and my soul now and forever."

We got married in church so promised to love and cherish and forsake all others forever.
Been married 25 years and still happy to keep those vows!

Why do you have to write them? Are the traditional ones not allowed in a civil ceremony - you know, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health..? Pity if so; there's nothing I'd add to those. They cover everything without any gushing.

Anyway, I would say make sure you are on the same page as your fiance. You don't want a situation where you have poured your heart out in your vows, and he's made it a stand-up comedy routine. Should you not be making the same vows to each other, anyway?

“(name) there are times when I have to pinch myself that this is real.

With everything that we’ve been through over the years it’s hard to believe that we’re finally here, in front of all our favourite children pledging to spend the rest of our lives together. I adore you and I’m humbled that you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with me.

I promise to try to remember to take my manky mugs of half drunk tea into the kitchen every day, not leave them for weeks.

I promise to do my fair share of the night duty when we get Reg and not leave it all to you and to stop pretending to be asleep when the dogs are barking over night.

I promise to tell you multiple times a day that I like you, every day and for the rest of our lives.

I promise to indulge your love of all things shiny and glittery and to buy you bubble wrap whenever you are down.

I promise to stop posting pictures of clowns on your Facebook page and to defend you when (your cousin) does it trying to be funny.

I promise to keep on trying to be a person you can be proud of.

I am yours and you are mine and in the words of the great Professor Snape – Always.”

we had a civil ceremony

@MaitlandGirl , were there other children who weren’t your favourites that didn’t get invited?

We just had the standard civil ceremony vows but we chose them from a list of options beforehand

They don’t let you say the for richer for poorer stuff if you’re not in a church

Church of England Common Worship. Might be boring but I adored the knowledge that I was connected by words through time to other couples. We almost chose Common Prayer for this reason: the same words used by couples for 300 years. Pretty epic.

@Shoxfordian no, they were all there - they all claim to be the favourite so it was a bit of a joke about how we had our ‘favourite children there’, as they’re all our favourites.

We picked from the options on offer at the register office.

Ww had a church blessing years later and dh said this verse from the Song of Solomon and I will never forget it (I hadn't known beforehand) -

'You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.'

Ah I seeee @MaitlandGirl 😄

This is exactly how I felt 😁

We had standard Church of England vows. Tbh I liked the impersonal nature of it. DH and I are not big on PDA. Our wedding was the first time many people had even seen us kiss. I couldn't have said anything personal and gushy in front of all those people.

I will love you on the days when you laugh and your smile shines in your eyes, but I vow to love you just as much when it doesnt.
I will love you on the days where you are full of light, but I vow to love you just as much through the darkness.
I will love you through your peace, but I vow to love you just as much through the pain, hurt and healing.
I will love you when you love yourself, but I will love you just as much when you don't.
I vow to not be in love with the person I think you could be, but to love you as you are in all stages of our life. I promise to be your best friend, your favorite comedian, your partner in everything. I vow to never take this kind of love for granted because I know what we have is rare, I will spend every day of the rest of my life grateful for us. I choose you, always.

We just went with the standard church vows.

Personally written gushy vows are cringeworthy - save it for the honeymoon suite. No need for your family and friends to sit through all that.

This. Personalized stuff is cringe.

No idea. It was 35 years ago. The usual stuff I suppose