This will be long sorry.
About a year ago I met up with a friend I'd been at school with before I went to south Africa. I was 9 when I left. We were good friends back then, we kept in touch on and off over ohe years, but as we grew up the contact got less which IMO would be natural for children growing up so far apart. anyway when I returned to this country when I was 19 I did get in touch, we met up but tbh didn't have all that much in common, so we just lost contact really. Then about a year ago a mutual aquaintence (who I didn't know was a mutual aquaintence at the time) told me she was back in town and had been asking after me so I said she could give her my number and she got in touch. She's been through a rough time over the past few years, her marriage broke down because her husband decided he wanted to becmoe a woman and for her obviously, she'd had to sell her house, give up her job, and had moved back here to stay with her parents while she found a job, which she hasnt as yet been able to do.
She confided in me a lot, talked to me about her ex, and I have been there for her and have listened to her and tried where possible, to give her encouragement to help her move on with her life.
But the more we see each other and talk to each other, the more I realize that we actually have nothing in common. And I think she actually realizes this too in a way, because all she talks about is the past, about her past obviously, but also about things we did when we were kids, just rrivial things which tbh never had that great an impact in my life.
And yet she is desperate to keep meeting up. She came over today and immediately wanted to set a date to meet up again because "I really want to see you again."
I feel mean not being as committed to this as she is. I know she needs friends, and I know that she's been through a really rough time, she has seen my mum a couple of times in town and has told her what a lovely time we had when we met up etc, and has told her that I was an inspiration to her and has helped her overcome huge issues in her life, ie her attitude to her disability (she is VI also), she even told me today that she told her counsellor that one of the major issues in her life has been resolved because of me.
I'm flattered by this, of course I am. And I'm really glad that I can have made such a positive impact on someone's life, but I think that she's holding on to this friendship for all the wrong reasons.
Obviously I'm not going to dump her, but I really don't see this as being the same kind of friendship as it was when we were kids, but not sure she feels the same.
if you've got this far well done.