Lonely but not wanting to meet anyone

[BiscoffSundae]

Does anyone else feel lonely but not want to meet anyone or just can’t be bothered? How do you force yourself back out there when you really can’t be bothered with it all?

If you don't want to, why force yourself?

Have you had a recent breakup @BiscoffSundae ?

no not at all I’ve been single for almost 6 years...
Probably one of the reasons I want to force myself back out there the longer I leave it the harder it becomes

Im staying single by choice and focusing on myself but ocassionaly I get lonely. I usually just dont act on it cos i know its a temporary feeling (eg couples holding hands in park or a evening with no plans) and i cant be asked with dating sites and im too busy to date. I think what youre saying is different though, right?

Feel the same
I'm concentrating on platonic relationships instead
Joined a load of meet-up groups for singles so that you're under no pressure but you can hang around with people in the same boat

I've been single for approaching 9 years. I'm not bothered at all. I dislike men and my divorce left me with no desire to go there again. I'm ok though, I have a full life. That's where to start I'd say, finding things you want to do and expanding your friendship groups. When I moved to a new town where I didn't know anybody, I joined the gym. Granted I had the benefit of a young child and school mum friends that come from that but I did make an effort to find new friends.

I’ve found making friends as an adult impossible, and I have school age children, never managed the whole school mum friend thing just didn’t happen and tbh doubt that would stop me feeling lonely in the evenings/ weekends etc finding a partner it’s certainly easier than making friends ime

@BiscoffSundae similar here and impossible to make friends, I work long hours but from home. I'm a single parent with no family help as parents live abroad etc. DD is having a really hard time MH wise and not going to school so being very clingy. The only respite is the 40 minutes I get while she's at therapy and food shopping! I don't have the bandwidth to even think about finding a man

What are you wanting (or imagining) you would "get" out of dating @BiscoffSundae ?

I'm a solo mother by choice now (IVF with a sperm donor) and 4 years ago when I was on the apps I was really wanting to meet someone to have a family with - I was desperate, panicked, desolate..I really shouldn't have been on the apps as the uncertainty of it all was making me ill but I'd tried nonetheless! I was between the ages of 36-38. I decided or rather forced myself off the apps, took stock of my situation, realised that meeting someone so quickly and for it all to happen in a timely neat manner was very unlikely I decided to go it alone aged 39. Best decision I've made so far in my life. Now that my son is here and is a lovable 7 month boy, I look back with real sadness at the time and energy wasted "dating". I even managed to get two brief relationships out if it but overall it was an awful experience. If I were to ever go back on them, I'm not sure what I'd be looking for...I no longer need/want a partner to settle down with or a father figure for my son..I guess it would be nice to meet someone to share life with (the physical intimacy and some of the day to day experiences) but since I'm in sole care of my son 24/7 and only free time is when he is in nursery but I'm at work, it is looking very unlikely that I would have the time to develop any meaningful connection with anyone. I've done FWB and all that in the past, but feel that those arrangements aren't suitable any longer and feel very pointless.

Do you have strong family ties and friendships around you?

Definitely don’t want anymore children I am a single mum already and if I’m honest there’s not a chance in hell I would have been single for so long if I hadn’t had children, that’s what’s kept me single for 6 years. Not close to my family and not really any friends I’ve tried the whole finding friends things and tbh that really isn’t easy it’s much easier dating.

StarCourt I can relate to that I haven’t had a day away from my kids in 5 years my daughter is autistic and tbh it’s one of the reasons I’ve struggled making friends at the school because she’s on a reduced time table and I never see any of them but tbh I’m not bothered about that they weren’t very friendly when I was doing the usual pick up so it’s no great loss. She’s going to be home from September as she didn’t get an appropriate school place so no chance of meeting anyone now.