Is he still playing with my mind?

[Alicew00]

I'm really hurting. I was so happy when I ended it with my ex 2 months ago but we've still been in contact because he's taken forever to get his things out of my house.
He tried to get back with me a few times at first but he kept making jokes out of what he did to me (emotional and physical abuse) he never showed any care or love for me apart. He tried to turn me against my friends and family. And he doesn't seem to understand why I didn't want him back.

I've just dropped off his last bits and left it somewhere safe as he was dragging it on. I text him yesterday but he didn't reply all night so I know he was with a woman yet he lied about it. He said my friend sent him a friend request but why would she when I told her everything he did to me? I'm so confused 😥

He called me straight after i dropped it off and said I dont need to block him because "we can still each other" because he likes too.
Stupidly I'm really missing him but didn't tell him that no matter how much I wanted to.
😥

He only showed love and interest in me at the start of our relationship. It didn't last long until he was trying to get attention from other women .

Block him

Nobody can play with your mind unless you let them.

He's your ex. Because he treated you badly. Why do you care what he's doing? Why aren't you finding something else to fill your time with than posting threads about his frame of mind?

Bit harsh, @Watchkeys.

Probably because she is trying to process it.

Asking valid questions that it would be a good idea for OP to answer for herself. What are we meant to say? 'There there little one'?

Have you got anything to say to OP, or just here to vet others' comments?

I know it's hard but he abused you and got under you skin and has now tried to drag things out when you've finally ended things. He's controlling and abusive. You know that. He's not your friend and all the practical stuff is solved now so why do you need to keep the channels open? In terms of wondering whether he was with a woman last night, well, maybe he was. He doesn't need to tell you about that now. He's telling you about your friend to shit stir and retain his place under your skin. Take back control and block.

Block him immediately. If it costs you your peace rhe price is too high. You will feel better faster

Block him. He's a liar and a bully who absurd you. You've done so well in getting rid - don't let him waste any more of your time.

Time to change your mindset.

Find a friend, find a beer garden with a chilled bottle of wine and whoop and cheer that it's all over, all done.

Block him on everything. If he finds a way to contact you block that.

You DON'T have to "still see each other"

He's history.

Of course he's still messing with your mind. He's an abusive man. You took your power back by leaving him, so he's doing everything he can to get that power back and have some control over you.

Stop all contact and block him on everything.

Every time you find yourself missing him, remember why you broke up with him. Remember all the horrible, cruel, abusive things he did to you.

It takes time to heal from abuse and it's natural to try to analyse things and figure out why they did the things they did. But essentially his mind is not like yours. You can never really understand it.

Of course he left his things, that's such a classic and no accident, just a way to keep a hook into you. You feel this way because that's how he wants it, it suits him fine. He's been abusive to you and you'll take time to undo the the thought patterns that have been set up in your mind, but it will happen.

Stick to your guns, you've done the hard bit. Block, delete, block, repeat... it will make things much easier, go no contact. Don't respond to any of his attempts to lure you back into communication, no matter how tempted you are. Ask a mate if you can call them instead if you get the urge to call him, and over time it will get easier I promise. Keep busy, be kind to yourself, you have dodged a bullet, well done!

Why does it matter that he spent the night with another woman? (Assuming he actually did, as you've leapt to that conclusion just because he wasn't in constant communication with you). He's your ex, it's none of your business or concern who he sees or what he does. Even if he was with someone else, and he is lying to you about it, he's probably lying because he knows you'll react badly.

You're not over the relationship and not ready to be friends with him yet. Maybe in time you can be, but for now you need to cut contact with him for your own wellbeing.

You know he's messing with you. So don't let him. Block him. Focus on other things. So what if he was with a woman when you dropped off his stuff? That's a weird conclusion to jump to (why would not answering your messages mean he's with another woman?) but also he's a single man and it's irrelevant to you if he's dating someone else. If he sees that you are bothered by that he'll know he still has a hold on you.

Block. Ignore. Move on. Stay strong.

You've done well to escape this abusive man.

Sounds like you were victim of a narcissist, and the problem with these people is that after a break up there’s no closure from them, you need to find that closure within yourself. Also: they will continue getting in touch as a way of control, they want to know they still have power over you.