DH has form for lying, he’s lied about tiny, insignificant things over the years, but he’s also lied about some big, shitty things too.
Each time he’s caught in a lie, I remind him of just how much I detest being lied to, he apologises and we attempt to move on - but it of course nibbles away at my trust each and every time.
Today, DH had meetings in London. I was told last night the meetings were a ‘big corporate spiel lasting from 9am to 5pm’. Anyway, I checked our tracking app that we have on our phones shortly after lunchtime, to see that DH wasn’t where I thought he would be (the HQ office), but was instead, in some random bar in a different area of London.
I messaged DH an hour or so later, asking him how he was getting on etc. He told me it was fine but a bit boring. I then asked him if his meeting was being held in the usual place and he stopped replying.
He got in this evening and I asked him what time the meeting ended up finishing, and if it’d been held at the HQ, to which I was told ‘yep, normal place, we finished up around half 4, was supposed to be 5 but they rushed through a couple bits so we could duck out a tiny bit early’.
Now, I can see from our app that he left the building where the meetings are held shortly after 2pm and was in a bar from then, until he left to get the train at around 5:30pm. When I asked him if he’d stayed and had any drinks, he told me that ‘once the meeting was finished, they left the HQ and he had one quick pint before getting the train’. I also asked him if the blokes from work were staying ‘out out’ for drinks after the meeting, and he told me they were apparently heading to a certain bar in Shoreditch. Well, I checked the app, and lo and behold, that bar that his colleagues were supposedly heading to ‘after’ DH had left, was in the fact, the bar DH had been sitting in for three hours.
For what it’s worth, the apps we use are never wrong. They might show you’re stood a few metres from where you actually are, but it would never show you as being MILES away from where you are, if you see what I mean. I can also tell when DH is lying by the level of (false) details he gives in answers.
I haven’t yet told DH that I know he’s bare face lied to me, but I am seething. He knows my stance on lying. He knows that above all else in life, I’m always, always going to be more mad about a lie than something he may or may not have done. It’s the lying. I can’t stand it. I don’t care that the meeting finished early. I don’t care that he sunk a couple pints in the midday sun. What I do care about is the fact he seemingly thinks so little of me, that lying about stupid shit is like a second nature to him.
Would you confront your DH if you knew he’d so breezily lied to you?