Feeling confused!

[Jayneport81]

Hi all. Firstly thank you if you read what I’m about to write. I’m just looking after some advice really.
was with my ex 10 years we have a little boy together. My son has Autism and is non verbal. I split up with him because of all his lies and me finding out he was cheating a lot. (I know I shouldn’t have taken him back so many times) so I’ve been really trying for him to see our son but something is always more important like pub,golf etc etc. He’s currently having our son one night a month but even that’s a struggle for him really. He’s still always messaging saying he loves me,when I collet our son he asks for a kiss and that I never do btw as I have been told that he has a gf which he denies so wouldn’t do that to her anyway and I don’t want him like that. Well yesterday he was messaging saying he loves me and that he’s going on holiday with this girl who I know he’s seeing but saying they are only mates he doesn’t like her like that he loves me still and that’s why he wants to be single blah blah blah.
question….why has it annoyed me so much??? I’m hating it that it has annoyed me. He never wanted to go on holiday with me and our son! He also doesn’t pay a penny of child support and he really can’t be bothered with our son which makes me so sad. I’m just confused as why I feel annoyed?!
please be kind.

That's how it feels when someone tramples all over your boundaries. It's your healthy instincts telling you that you need to be respected more than this.

What would you scream in his face, if you let it all out? What would your angry/pissed off/disappointed words be?

I’m angry but I’m trying not to be. Our son is only 8 but no matter how hard I try for my ex to see more of our son I’m the mental one! Our son attends a specialist school and I’m currently looking for a PA for our son as our sons school have seen I get no support from my ex with our son as our son is getting older he has violent outbursts,doesn’t sleep well but when I try and talk to my ex he said he needs a life too! I think I’m annoyed as you’re absolutely right he has no respect for me and I think I deserve some. He goes away and yet still lies to me. I don’t care he’s got a gf but why lie and keep saying she’s not? I’ve just asked he doesn’t send me messages that he loves me but that makes him angry. His dad our sons grandad made us homeless 2 years ago and we are in temporary accommodation while he lives at home rent free not even giving a shit about our son. I don’t like his dad as he called our son a spastic and I’m so angry at him for this and angry my ex thinks that ok but I still try and do the right thing and encourage him to see our son and even the grandparents on his side! I feel like such a fool!
thank you for reply.