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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need a moan about my neighbour

3 replies

CatBeeBirdTree · 14/07/2022 10:15

We’ve lived here a few years, and neighbour was welcoming when we first moved in. She confided in me that her son died in his twenties. Soon after we moved in her husband died.

She is in her eighties, no family - and has the house to look after on her own.

In various conversations she has said some pretty awful things about our neighbours - things like “she behaves like that because she is adopted and you can never tell because you know nothing about the genes” - things that make me recoil/and I then decided to distance myself.

i can understand that she needs a low maintenance garden. She frequently complains about any plants in our garden. We’ve cut everything back so that no plants overhang the boundary.

Last week she confronted me. First showed me a photo of her son as a baby. Then she complained about a bush in our front garden - saying all the leaves were blowing into her drive. She told me it’s wilting, and I need to get an expert out to look at it. After that, she went and got the teddy that her son played with when he was young.

The whole interaction shook me up. The bush is fine, not wilting - and is an evergreen so doesn’t drop many leaves.

She confronts with me/or Dp on a weekly basis about something she’s not happy about - or will demand entry onto our property for workmen etc.

I don’t know why I’m posting really! I guess we just carry on and let her have her weekly moan at us. I’d just rather be off her radar - but I feel like I’m being unkind - knowing that she needs support/what she has been through.

OP posts:
speakball · 14/07/2022 16:08

Have your phone to hand when you're outside and pretend you've got a message and say 'I'm sorry I've got to call this person', I've really got to go, sorry. Just keep repeating. People like that will focus on slow moving polite types so have something come up every time.

Opaljewel · 14/07/2022 17:25

Has she got dementia? Could be the signs since she is acting oddly.

Does she have any family? If not can you get in touch with social to see if someone can help her.

Just she was friendly before now acting strange. My ex elder neighbour started acting strange too and it turned out she had it. Her son was awful and didn't want to know.

Cherrysoup · 14/07/2022 19:38

You need to learn to shut her down, politely, quickly. ‘It’s an evergreen, Eileen, it hardly drops any leaves’. If she is demonstrating signs of dementia, she may deteriorate rapidly.

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