Sad about online dating matches

[SisterAct123]

Yes I need to harden up!

I was speaking to a guy from midday Saturday after matching a few days earlier. On Sunday I was in hospital as I had an infection. We chatted a lot as he works nights and I was constantly awake.

Today I logged into the app and his account is no longer active. He’s deleted his account. Shame :(

I dated another guy and he asked to see me again. And after a few days What’s App blocked me. About a month later his account went offline.

I don’t know why the above happened from their side and of course I’ve analysed my own behaviour.

These men were both from Hinge. Looking back neither really asked me great detail my life. Is this normal? I know we mostly chatted online but how do I keep the chat interesting when it’s just words?

The guy who recently unmatched me did make a comment about my rather large breasts. I don’t show cleavage and I have a large chest, but my profile only has a modest body shot with a chest. How can I prevent this from happening?

On a side note I’ve seen other females profiles and wow they look hot! Should I wear heaps more make up? I have one flattering pic which I sometimes think they might think I’m better than I am in real life.

Anway, knock me out ladies with your replies and thank you for them all.

Oh I forgot the guy with a medical degree but would constantly use the incorrect their/there…. Or any sort of commas etc. I asked him to take a screen shot on Google maps of the blue dot (his location) and was about a 45 min drive from where he said he lived!

Why don't you focus a bit more on whether you like them or not, rather than whether they like you?

I’ve never had a boyfriend (painfully shy which I’ve overcome) and I’m somewhat a bit unsure about relationship (unstable family).

how would I gauge that?

to be honest im just basing it on looks, good job, height…. Which is awful but also why im asking.

Lol there are loads of fantasists online dating. Sadly this is very normal and happens to everyone. Don't worry about it!

I video called him briefly so I know he’s real….. but kinda seemed younger!

OLD is hard. I remember liking or winking (it was guardian soul mates) someone and learning to toughen up when i didn't get the response. I also met a lot of really nice genuine people though, and then the love of my life. I think it is a learning curve, learning to take the knocks and move on, it's a useful lesson though.

Honestly, they’re probably just idiots. I’d bet it’s nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, this sort of shit is not uncommon on dating apps.

I do the same to people…. As in I just unmatch or cbf after a while.

I prefer Bumble to Hinge which I found pretentious. Try other apps and sites.

I recommend making a list of traits that you'd like in a man too. It keeps you grounded to what you do want.
I have big boobs, some men like, some dont. But after one date, once Id turned him down, stated, but just come to mine, so I can cum on your tits. Some men just vile.
The best way to harden up is to avoid them for a whole year and then you'll realise that you can live your life without them. You're less likely to put up with their dire behaviour then.

If they aren't asking much about your life, I'd see that as a red flag. Anyone into would want to learn more, and create a connection with you, if not then they are just a self absorbed person only out for their own gain.

You're definitely not alone, I did OLD for a bit and I was thinking there was something wrong with me, why can't I find a relationship but I think most men just want to casual date.

I’ll give it a go!

So you also ghost or block people in the middle of interacting/dating but you’re asking why it would be done to you? Or have I misunderstood?

I’d just unmatch if it’s not getting off the ground or they’re awful or it’s too long between messages (not just a few hours or a day or whatever because we’re all busy) but otherwise, I’d have the decency to say something rather than disappear.

And I’ve never blocked anyone I know on WhatsApp! Seems a bit dramatic.

I do the same as you…. You unmatch etc if the vibe is totally of. This guy deleted the app despite talking at length. When he was gone for a few hours he would write “sorry I took a while to respond, I was doing X”.

I’ve unmatched people when we hadn’t spoken for a few days and the conversation was dead or they didn’t respond to the last message.

You have to be quite tough for OLD - I was expecting this, because friends who had been there before me had shared some of the worst profiles.

I made a rule that existing stuff (friends, exercise classes, etc) came first - any man has to enhance my existing life, not replace it. I have got tougher on things like height, after a date with someone who turned put to be shorter than me, and I'm only 5'4". I'm quite restrictive on distance, because I can't be arsed to travel for hours,because i work full time and do other things (exceptions have been made for a guy I know IRL rather than through an app, and I'll be travelling two hours for a guy I met at a party last weekend, but he's also got the sea.) And I'm only looking at guys my age plus or minus 5 years, partly because it cuts down the numbers.

And then think about what you like doing in your spare time - if someone is clearly mad about cars and motorbikes, then I really have no interest in spending weekends at car shows and stuff, but museums are good for me. I can't be bothered with those who didn't bother writing a profile, or have no sense of how to write well. Crap profile photos go - I mean, in this day and age, if your photo is out of focus, or you cut half your head off, just take another one! My current perimeno sex drive is insane, so I'm not against meeting some just for sex, but they still need to put in a bit of effort, and more women on apps probably don't want casual sex like that. You need to decide your boundaries, because a lot of men are just after sex,but there are some who want a proper relationship. They're just harder to find.

I'm not taking it too seriously and I've been having a lot of fun. One guy decided I'm a bit too much for him,but we've become friends and chat most days. I do think you should do as you would be done by, and I don't want to be ghosted, because there's usually a bit of why left in your mind. But there have been some I chatted to where we both stopped responding. They're not blocked, we just stopped making contact. I haven't bothered unmatching, because that would take more conscious effort than I could be bothered with. I have blocked some, like the guy who stood me up because he was hungover and forgot and the one who kept hassling me to respond, when I had already said I was busy with work and wouldn't be able to till late thst evening, but I told him why I was blocking him.

Most of it's fun, and the others at least make a funny story!