I feel nothing for my baby :(

[Tynn]

6 months and I don’t feel anything for the baby. I’m doing it alone as ex left a few weeks in and I noticed that I gradually felt less and less. I had moments of love at the start but now absolutely nothing!

I feel like I resent them :( I keep thinking of how little I will be able to do, the responsibility, the stress, the financial
impact… I feel depressed but cannot see this changing at all. I have no excitement and hate propel asking about the bump etc.

A year ago I was desperate to be a mum. Absolutely desperate.

I don’t think this is just depression. If I could give the baby back now I would. I couldn’t go through with adoption so I’m stuck with it but will I ever get over this? I just see this huge burden on the horizon with absolutely zero joy.

I know you say you're not depressed but it sounds like you might be suffering from PND. Can you speak to your doctor or health visitor? Is there anyone who can help you to give you a break?

Having a baby is hard and lonely at the best of times and it sounds like you've had a bad time but feeling nothing for the baby is not normal and not good for either of you. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just suggesting that you need some help x

Are you still pregnant or is baby 6 months?

If you're still pregnant please tell your midwife how you feel. There is tons of support out there including health visitors and social workers as well as mental health teams

You may or may not have PND (I would see your G.P) but it is very hard, especially on your own. It’s overwhelming and completely changes your life, there is absolutely no doubt about that.

It will get better as the child gets a little older, starts nursery, then school. You’ll get a little more time to yourself.

Do you have any support?

Did you post this the other day? Six months pregnant?

I also think this is the same op, there's been a few of these threads recently

Oh OP I think I remember you 😞

Please seek some professional counselling to deal with how you're feeling at the moment.

No amount of MN threads can unravel how you're feeling because it's very complex.

Is that something you're willing to do - to seek some counselling?

You are pregnant? Op it is absolutely normal how you are feeling. Having to do thus alone is indeed tough and that feeling is overshadowing your experience. Its not at all surprising that you don't like people commenting on the bump.

Having no feeling of excitement is a symptom of depression however. But in life sometimes we feel depressed because of outside events rather than an imbalance.

You need to talk to midwives and doctors and ensure they know how you feel as you may be at risk of serious PND

Please don't expect that you should be feeling joy and love at this point. That will come later ..you can do this OP

You sound like me with my first baby. I think you are suffering with post natal
depression. Please see someone soon and get help. It won’t last forever.

I was a young mum but I remember not feeling a connection with my baby but no one told me what it was and it wasn’t really talked about then. It was only later on that it was and when I looked back I had all the signs and symptoms.

I wish someone would have been there to talk to me and given me the help I needed.

you need to ask for help for the sake of the baby

OP this is really normal, especially when you’ve had a difficult time of it.

I didn’t feel love (or much to be honest) until both mine were about 9 months old.. I was heavily protective and maternal when the babies were born and went through all the processes but I didn’t have the instant love women speak about. What nobody said to me that I wish they had, was that this is really normal and plenty of mothers don’t feel love for their babies right away.

it does come. You grow to love
them. I didn’t have PND, but it’s certainly something to consider if you’re regretting pregnancy/motherhood/ feeling miserable.

As someone said this is not for mn.
what you have written suggests that you are clearly depressed.the good news is that this can be fixed.

step one - book a double appointment with your go
if possible and be totally honest. Do you have a health worker? If so talk to them

are you in any mother and baby groups? That would be a good thing to do.

OPsays she hates people asking after the bump - she's six months pregnant, therefore has not got PND. There is Antenatal depression or just plain old Depression however.

You're going through such a lot OP, contact your midwife and be honest with her. You need support.

I also remember the previous thread from what I believe to be the same OP.

You had lots and lots of solid advice previously. Sadly no one can make this better for you. If you just need to vent that’s one thing but if you’re actually looking for solutions, you won’t get anything more than what’s been suggested already. You really really do need to talk to your midwife and GP. I know that’s hard if you’re depressed but it really is vital.

OP you very definitely are suffering from ante-natal depression.

I was dumped (or rather, he just vanished without trace) two days after telling my DC's father I was pregnant. As the pregnancy continued I'd wake up in the morning wishing it had died in my womb. I had to call it "it" because the scans couldn't determine gender.

When DC was born I cared for her physically but had no emotional connection whatsoever and believed my life to be over. I'd have happily handed her over to a complete stranger had one asked. I was diagnosed with severe post-natal depression and my GP believed it extended to ante-natal because of my descriptions of my feelings.

Please, please see your GP and get some medication and/or counselling. The dark days will pass, although you won't feel like that at the moment. I could only describe it as a spiralling misery.

Fast-forward 15.6 years and my love for my daughter is overwhelming.

Sending very best wishes xx

Hi OP,

I'm so sorry that you feel this way.

Clearly you feel distant/ disconnected from the baby because the father left.
You shouldn't. As you said you were 'Absolutely desperate' to be a mum. Did you really want a baby or just have a child to be closer to your partner?

The baby is innocent, he/she is just as abandoned by your deadbeat partner as you are, baby does not deserve to feel that way about you too.
You are still his mother and you are there. You are just hurting right now but trust me that baby is going to bring you the greatest joy and the deepest love you have ever experienced.

You mention that you couldn't go through with adoption, why is that? Is it because deep down you do feel love and attachment to your baby? If he/she really meant nothing to you adoption would be an easy choice.

Your baby is relying on YOU his/her only reliable parent to love and care for him.
You will be a wonderful Mum, just wait till you hold that baby in your arms.