Loyalty

[Veiaola]

I am questioning the Loyalty of my dh as have recently found out that he lied to me where he was as he has been helping someone to mend something, he has a long history for wanting to help everyone at my expense. We have had discussions about this before. He is out several times a week on days off an after work, he gets paid for things he does. We don’t need the extra cash although it helps obviously. I don’t object to him helping anyone but it would be nice to come first on his list of jobs.

It’s stinging currently as I am caring for one of his relatives. This has been really hard and taken it’s toll on me physically and mentally. Whilst he was running around being the hero I was looking after his relative. We have numerous jobs which need doing at home, been waiting years for him to decide to do them. The jobs which need doing at home make my life more difficult for me. I feel quite hurt about it all. I am rubbish at confronting him, mainly because I am tired of the nonsense he creates. Do you think I am being unreasonable feeling like this?

I don’t think you’re unreasonable, you should be his priority

You are not being unreasonable. Do you think he does it primarily so that people will think he's a good bloke?

@cafcass123 yes I do, I don’t understand this as he does Not need to do this. By doing all these jobs also means we don’t spend any time together after work. Time which we need. 😢

How did you get roped into looking after his relative? Did you offer or did he offer you to help?

@BackInBlackAgain its just happened over time and probably was always assumed that I would do it.

Are you happy doing the work? Do you need your DH to step up more?

Just say no to looking after the relative and tell him
ne has to do it.

By doing all these jobs also means we don’t spend any time together after work. Time which we need. 😢

That's key, isn't it? Sounds like he's avoiding spending time with you, but you're OK as a carer for his relative. Not great.