What do I do?

[Readsomethingishouldnt]

So I read a messages from my dh fb to a girl he knows from when he was 16. He tells her stuff he doesn't tell me, he seems to give a shit about her asks her how she is, tells her hope you have a good day (im lucky if he asks me how i am). Told her a major life event that only happened a few weeks ago and is very raw for me, it was mainly me that it affected though also affected him too. He tried to meet up with her a few weeks ago this makes me feel very uneasy as he never mentioned it to me. I know he's not seen her for around 12 years as it was mentioned in a message between them both. I've always had a feeling he fancies her. Do I tell him I read the messages, do I confront him about telling her a major life event that's still eating me up inside? Do i just leave it? I've only told my best friend and I thought he told his 2 friends. I know I shouldn't have read the messages, he never mentions talking to her.

Sorry for rambling...before anyone asks I was on his laptop and went into Facebook to go on my own and noticed he messaged her a couple of days ago so I read them.

I think I'd go back on the laptop first and take some screenshots and send them to myself so that I have the evidence that can't be deleted. Once that's done I'd wait until I was face to face with him and open the laptop messages and ask him to explain why he's messaging and trying to meet up with this woman, and why he thought it acceptable to mention the major life event to her, which is something private. Get to see his immediate reaction.

The messaging could all be innocent, but the fact he's not mentioned anything to you, especially the potential meeting up, would give me concern if it was my DH.

Is this a recent thing that they've reconnected and started messaging OP? He sounds a bit infatuated from what you've written.

The not telling you is the key here. He's hoping for a secret relationship with her.

He will probably tell me he told her because she went through the same thing, I would see the point if it was my friend and went though similar then fair enough but I don't know this woman, I met her once when I was 16 so 12 years ago.

He has been wanting to meet her for a while by the looks of it but she always says no from what I see from the messages. I don't know if she reminds him of home but it's the secrecy of it all I just don't understand. He has Wednesdays off and had told her any wed she wants to meet up he will be there. I'm at work. He also has youngest ds that day and I feel uneasy about my child being around whatever is going on.

I feel crap for reading his messages to her tho.

But how would you handle this situation?

If you don't feel you can ask him, and trust his answer, there are deeper issues in your relationship than this one.

Why can't you ask him? If you wouldn't trust his answer... why not?