Ending my relationship. Feel awful

[misguided08]

Hi, I’m not really sure where to begin with this but I feel that my relationship has become toxic to the point where I know it needs to end but I’m also terrified. I am part of a so called “blended family” that has proved to be more difficult than I could ever have imagined. My partner has three kids and I have one. I have found his co parenting approach to be intense to say the least and it has caused many issues. When I have raised these issues I get told “you don’t like my kids, you don’t love them like your son” and worse. We are now in a toxic pattern of a few nice days and then onto awful ones. Big shouting arguments usually away from kids but my son is observant and can pick up on tension. There have been then days of silent treatment within the same house and angry communication via text. My son is so lovely, funny, kind and I’m so proud of him but I’m now beginning to feel like the atmosphere is having some impact upon him. My partner is not his biological father, he sees his real dad regularly and they have a solid and good relationship. However my partner has been in his life for a number of years. I don’t know why I’m writing really, I’m confused, I’m worried what the future holds. I’m worried I’m letting my son down. I’m ultimately scared of being alone again but I feel alone now :(

Sorry to hear ur going thru this. Have u considered counselling? Do u see a future together? Do u think he acknowledges there's a problem and wants to improve the situation or are you staying together for the kids/practical reasons? Basically, do you feel there is enough love between u to salvage the situation?
How old is your son and how open/honest can you be with him? Do u have a problem with his kids or just him?

Your man and you should no
longer be together. It’s over and you are both showing these four young people a really awful example of a relationship.

Is he somewhat of a bullying you must do as I say immediately type when it comes to his children?. Joint counselling is a non starter here if he is abusive towards you and in turn your child

You have your son and you are not alone really. Better to be on your too with your son than to be as badly accompanied as you are now. The future with this man you describe will be merely more of the same nice/nasty cycle of abuse.

Do it for your son, he shouldn’t be living in that atmosphere.
And as for being alone, the best thing you can do for yourself is to work towards being happy alone. A relationship should enhance your life, not drag it down.

We ignore our gut feelings too much. But yes the minute your feeling like this its likely the relationship isn't right. It's a horrible feeling. Toxic relationships are on the rise. The worlds full of this individuals now. I have written this on someone else's post yesterday. I believe people's personalities can change very much. So what you see is probably who they are and who they will stay.

I do appreciate that it's hard to mix families in. It's going to have some bumps and stresses. But throwing out accusations isn't fair. You will have a different bond with tour own child. But it's about adding a healthy relationship into the other children's lives. When you've been in their loves quite some time you'd ofcourse bond with them even more.