Is his slate as clean as he says it is?

[Izzadorah]

DP is adamant he has never cheated.

When my kids were in primary school I found out he had been texting one of the school mums. All hours of the day and night. I never got to see the content of the messages.
He never mentioned her once in conversation, never mentioned her kid. Never mentioned they texted. Absolutely nothing.

When I found out I was devastated because of the level of secrecy. To me, if it was harmless and innocent he would have mentioned her at some point, right?!

He says he never did because I would over react and make it into something it wasn't, she was just a friend.

But then when we broke up a year later (unrelated) guess who hooked up for a drunken ONS?

Now to me that just cements that I was absolutely right in thinking what he did was wrong.

Now, I know he didn't physically cheat because when they got together we were separated but would you say he was completely faithful to me when we were together knowing that he had MONTHS of secret texts with a woman he claimed (at the time) to have zero attraction to... But later slept with.

I'm just honestly trying to figure out if my moral compass is on point or not?

He claims he was always faithful. Is that 100% faithful?

He's my ex now BTW... Its just every so often he brings up the fact that for xxx years he was so faithful...

maybe he didn’t sleep with her
but probably fancied her and flirted with her and it became an emotional affair or sorts
but obviously I don’t know for sure

I don’t know many male/female friendships that require constant communication And secrecy unless they fancy each other

They definitely didn't sleep together when we were together. But as soon as we broke up they did.

The fact they 'hooked up' as soon as he was free made me feel like I was justified in my reaction to them secretly texting whilst we were together.

I had a school gate dad friend years ago. Both married. We both became single and had a short relationship.. Previously he genuinely was just in the friend zone. Never anything untoward until we were both available..
Tbh I always thought he was a bit of a prat!!

Did you keep your friendship a complete secret from your partners?

My now exh never knew. Never occurred to me to tell him specifically tbh.. Doubt his dw knew. His balls would have been on garden spikes.. She was very ott with him.

He's interpreting 'faithful' to mean he didn't have intercourse.
It's quite clear he betrayed you by having the type of secret friendship you have described.