My DH and I have been together for 12 years. Married 8. We have two DC who are 5 and 7.
Just for background...
Before we met his most recent ex really hurt him - emotionally. From memory I think she cheated then dumped him. He was apparently devastated. Had to take time off work etc. She broke his heart. They had been together three years I think. He was around 27/28 at that time. Then we met and got together about a year or so after and obviously we chatted about exes and stuff so I was aware of her. She is also very pretty which made me feel a little crappy but that's my issue. I got over it.
Not long after we started dating she tried to friend him on FB which he declined (FB was relatively new back then) and she messaged him and he said he wasn't interested in keeping in touch sort of thing. All good. Forgotten. We got engaged, married, bought a house, had kids. Things as rosy as a 12 year relationship can be. No issues.
My husband is honest to a fault and would tell me anything, even if he thought it would hurt my feelings. I also feel it's important to say that I trust him a zillion percent. Am not the paranoid or jealous type at all. Never have been and neither is he so we have a really healthy relationship in this respect. Definitely built on trust and respect.
Anyway, my husband started an Instagram account around a year ago. Mostly to look at tattoo pages and because his friends had one. Recently he added some photos of a family holiday and tagged me in the post. Pics of us together with our two DC. All good. Until I noticed that his ex has liked the post. His page is private and when I check so is hers. So he must have accepted her request. Maybe even requested her first. No idea how long they have followed each other.
I know this shouldn't bother me. It's not a secret. She can clearly see me in his posts.. Nothing untoward is going on but in my head I'm thinking WHY?
Why, after all this time does he want to be in contact with her. Have her looking at his photos and, obviously, him looking at hers. I KNOW I'm being a bit neurotic and this is not like me at all but I'm uncomfortable about it. I don't know who added who first but it just seems like the line of communication has been re-established (after more than a decade) and it's made me feel a bit uneasy. Usually he would talk stuff through with me, he'd mention something like this and we'd talk. But he's not mentioned anything.
I haven't mentioned to him yet as I know I'm probably being absolutely ridiculous but I can't get it out of my head. AIBU? Would it be wrong of me to ask him about it?
Do I need to forget it or should I mention it to him? These are new feelings for me so I'm trying to put it in perspective. He's actually done nothing wrong but them being back in touch after such a long time is just strange to me. I know its only Instagram but it's a form of communication when they didnt have any way of contacting each other before. I didn't think he had any desire to be in touch. She isn't very local so not like they see each other around or have made friends or even mutual friends. I have never met her.
Would any of you guys be annoyed/uncomfortable or am being totally unreasonable? 🤷🏻♀️