If you're LAT partner is terminally sick

[justdidit]

And not being paid from his/ her work... what level of support is appropriate , financially ?
See each other every weekend and somethings for a few days longer. He comes here for respite.
Not Ideal, not what I signed up for, but here we are. What's acceptable to you or what would be ?
Together two years.

What is a LAT partner? 🤔

Living apart together

Do you mean financial support from you?

If he has a terminal illness does he qualify for PIP or ESA?
Any life insurance that will pay out because of the diagnosis?

Yes. The basics like staying with me three or four days per week, feeding him, transporting him to appointments.

No assurance. Nothing coming In.

Are they asking or are you thinking of offering?

Are there any charities for his specific illness that can be contacted for financial support? Some can help with expenses, others can work through exactly what benefits to claim and how.

I'm Kind of in the middle of this and I can't really afford to keep him.

www.gov.uk/benefits-end-of-life

www.nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-life-care/coping-financially/

No Charities I'm afraid

Not where I am, thanks.

What would happen if you weren’t around to help?

If you’re not in the UK you need to say, otherwise people will give irrelevant advice.

Ok - I have to be really blunt here.

How terminal is terminal? If you are talking weeks then I think that time is so short that you should just do what is necessary. If years then that is different. A long term solution is needed and it sounds like it can’t be you. If months - that is harder. I think I would do what I can but not so much that it would leave me in poverty.

Sorry I should have said.
If I'm not around he will be cared for by family, but with a quid pro quo.

Does he have relatives who could step in?
Suggest cutting back to one night a week.
Do you ever stay at his place?

Why not explain the situation in more detail if you want relevant advice?

Is he not getting statutory sick pay at least?

I would be happy to cover cost of feeding him when staying with me and petrol fetching to appointments. Anything beyond that would be too much. As tragic as his situation may be, he needs to work his own finances out here.

No one here can say, and if you can’t afford to support him you can’t afford it.

What he asking for? How much can you and want to help?

And what would that quid pro quo be if he's broke?

Whereabouts are you? Important first question
If in UK he would qualify for PIP under Terminal illness depending on prognosis
Is there an organisation related to his particular illness?

@chiffchaffchiff he will
Do housework and childcare for his sibling

I have a LAT partner of 4 years with a significant long term care needs.

We set careful boundaries re communication about care needs and expectations, do not share finances when apart but split costs 50/50 when together

if they were terminal in the short term I would want to become their carer and make the most of the time we had left.

If they were long term terminal I would do the same thing but a lot more slowly.

No one can tell you what to do.

you can only give what you can afford both financially and emotionally. If he is lucky enough to have family who will care for him then you don’t need to worry much. I don’t think my partners family would to be honest, which is partly why I would. I couldn’t see him struggle alone to the bitter end

@justdidit

i’m sorry - he’s terminally ill but would be expected to do housework and childcare?! Some family!