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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cricket wife and miserable

11 replies

Somethingwicked9 · 09/07/2022 17:04

Hi everyone I putting this up as I don’t have friends I could trust to talk to about it and no family that isn’t already my husbands family , I’m looking for thoughts and advice my husband plays cricket as a hobby he trains twice during the week at night for 3 and a half hours leaving me with out baby and toddler to do dinner and bath time alone he also plays every Saturday witch a game including travel last 11 hours so he is gone all day and night , today has been the final straw after a terrible week with the baby not sleeping as well as my toddler being on holiday from nursery I could of done with him not going I’m a disabled mum trying her very best but feel all I do is shout it’s like the kids know it’s 2 on 1 and I’m left crippled for days afterwards. I feel terrible because he honestly is a wonderful husband we been threw some hard times but we have always came out happier and stronger , he’s the bread winner in a high stress job he cleans he cooks he’s a wonderful father and the children can’t see Past him , it’s not his fault that I’m disabled now and struggle but I have no other help other than him and my mental health is entering a dark place because of these days away I feel like the kids would be better of with out me because every Saturday is just me stressed out tired and shouting , I can’t even talk to him about it because he would just stop playing all together and I know how much that would upset him

OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 09/07/2022 17:06

I don't know much about cricket but how long is the season? Would he be able to miss the odd game? Would it be horrendous to take the DC and have a picnic?
My uni house was opposite a cricket ground and we spent some lovely afternoons lounging around with Pimm's (no children though)

DelurkingAJ · 09/07/2022 17:09

Can you compromise? Could he just play for a Sunday team until the DC are old enough to come along? It sounds like he plays at a fairly high level.

Floralnomad · 09/07/2022 17:17

Go with him on the Saturdays that they play home games , that way you get to meet people , your toddler will probably have other little people to play with and he can help you out / play with the kids whilst he’s not batting . My dad always played weekend cricket and we had a great time as kids .

serafinarose · 09/07/2022 17:22

As above, we used to always go along to the Saturday matches as kids. All over the place. Is that an option? There'll be other families there.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/07/2022 17:31

Can you afford to get someone to help. Maybe a sixth form student would be willing to come and help for some of the day. It is the sort of thing mine would do.

aboutbloodytime123 · 09/07/2022 17:37

Another vote for going with him, its quite a family friendly sport. My DP also plays but he doesn't do the weekly training. In the winter he does nets once a week (when there are no games) but in the summer he just takes one weekend day for the game itself. Occasionally he'll do both days. He always asks me though - and I only ever say no if there's a valid reason (eg next weekend we are away visiting family). Could you ask him to cut down on the summer training?

Original poster
Somethingwicked9 · 09/07/2022 17:43

i tried going with him to home matches at the start of the season their are no other children and I couldn’t get after my toddler because I’m disabled so he was running on the pitches etc when they are old I will be able to but not untill their like 6+ my baby just screamed the whole time because I couldn’t let her down to crawl it was really embarrassing xx

OP posts:
aboutbloodytime123 · 09/07/2022 18:05

Oh that is tough, I really feel for you. Toddlers can really shift when they want to! Is childcare an option? So that you both get, say, Saturday afternooons "off"?

Floralnomad · 09/07/2022 18:32

Perhaps ask him to find a more family friendly team for next season .

Sexnotgender · 09/07/2022 18:35

He needs to put his family first. My husband is a huge cricket fan, played when I met him.

He hasn’t played at all this season and very little of last as he’s a bloody grown up who realises swanning off all day on a Saturday leaving your wife at home with 2 children is fucking twattish behaviour.

toooldtocare · 09/07/2022 18:37

I am a cricket widow and I really understand.. though my kids are older. This has been the worst week for me as we’re so far into the season but still have a way to go.

Would a compromise be less training? One session a week til the end of the season. For home games (assume every other week) can he leave as soon as they’ve finished not stay for the beer/ celebrations afterwards?

Could you find some home help? Local colleges around us require students to get experience if they’re doing childcare courses. There may be other routes to get help- could you ask your health visitor?

It is hard, I feel your pain. Have some 💐

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