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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Covid and partner being horrible

13 replies

ilovebrie8 · 09/07/2022 11:37

I’ve got Covid and feel pretty yuk! Like a bad flu, coughing etc. My other half is being awkward and not supportive ...I’m more or less living in the bedroom. Popped to make a coffee in the kitchen and he starts shouting he wants to be in the kitchen. I get it he doesn’t want to catch it but I didn’t get this intentionally...he’s not being nice...basically he’s acting like a right prick ! He’s not got it and I’m doing my best to keep away from him but we live in same house ...he’s been quite unkind and I already feel crap having Covid and feeling weak ...

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 09/07/2022 11:39

Is this unusual behaviour or is he often like this?

ilovebrie8 · 09/07/2022 11:48

On and off, I expected better when I’m poorly ...😞

OP posts:
chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 12:16

Is this a fairly new relationship? I'd consider leaving him to be honest. You're not going to be able to live into old life when ailments come and go and have that sort of treatment each time.

Shoxfordian · 09/07/2022 13:36

He sounds like a knob

RedRideMeGood · 09/07/2022 13:42

My husband was a bit like this when I had covid. Any other illness he's there, whatever I want. Covid terrified him, him getting it, kids getting it etc. For the first few days his anxiety was through the roof, wanting us all to wear masks, me to carry a bottle of spray and kitchen roll everywhere to wipe what I'd touched. He settled down after a few days and apologised.

Hope you're not too ill OP.

💐

D0lphine · 09/07/2022 14:08

When I had covid I gave my bf 2 options.

Option 1: I come into the kitchen to get food/ drinks / lemsip and he just has to accept the germs.

Option 2: he brings me all food / drinks / medicine on demand.

I was fine with either. He picked option 2 which was excellent, I have to say!

Present these options to him - it's one or the other really isn't it?

Also say it's not ok to be mean when you're I'll. you feel bad and need empathy.

Blanca87 · 09/07/2022 14:09

Well there you have it, he won’t look after you when you need him and he is intermittently a twat to you? What’s the point of the relationship just dump him.

ZealAndArdour · 09/07/2022 14:11

He’s not being very nice is he. Even if he did want to be in the kitchen, he must surely understand that if you’re ill, you need to take the opportunity to use the kitchen while you feel up to it, whilst he has the rest of the day to frequent all the other rooms in the house.

I will say that neither myself nor my partner have modified our behaviour at all during covid within the house. I had my second covid infection back in March, we carried on as normal in the house, watching TV together, cooking, etc and kind of just accepted the inevitability of us both getting it, but he didn’t catch it from me. He has his second infection right now and again we’ve carried on as normal at home and I haven’t caught it from him again.

ilovebrie8 · 09/07/2022 20:53

He’s being a total twat, being mean when I feel really poorly has made me think on. He’s never any good when things go wrong but that’s life it’s not all smooth. I’ve not even had a cup of tea brought to me...all he’s bothered about is that he doesn’t want to catch it. When I text him few days ago to say I’d tested positive he was mad ...no sympathy zilch ! In fact he was quite nasty. It’s not nice when I feel in a weakened state as it is...

OP posts:
wellhelloitsme · 09/07/2022 21:01

OP, life is simply too short to be with someone who is not kind.

You can never have a happy, mentally healthy life with someone who is unkind.

Being happy, mentally healthy and single is far better than being unhappy and mentally unhealthy in a relationship.

You'd be doing yourself a disservice to stay with someone who isn't fundamentally kind.

fedupathome · 09/07/2022 21:16

I can sympathise as my husband is the same. He caught covid and I waited on him hand and foot he stayed in the kids room. I bought up all his meals and drinks etc.
When I still somehow caught covid off him he didn't do anything for me at all. I was still having to look after the kids and cook and clean and he was still leaving them with me to go out and do whatever he wanted.

I got so upset I cried and ended up with a sinus infection and on antibiotics.
I refused to do anything or get out of bed as I was fuming with him by that point.

Bananalanacake · 09/07/2022 21:26

Do you have DC together, can you move out, don't waste your life with someone who makes you feel shit about yourself.

wellhelloitsme · 09/07/2022 21:27

fedupathome · 09/07/2022 21:16

I can sympathise as my husband is the same. He caught covid and I waited on him hand and foot he stayed in the kids room. I bought up all his meals and drinks etc.
When I still somehow caught covid off him he didn't do anything for me at all. I was still having to look after the kids and cook and clean and he was still leaving them with me to go out and do whatever he wanted.

I got so upset I cried and ended up with a sinus infection and on antibiotics.
I refused to do anything or get out of bed as I was fuming with him by that point.

Please don't feel you have to raise your kids under the same roof as this arsehole.

All they're learning is that it's acceptable for men to be totally selfish while it's obligatory for women to be selfless.

It's such a damaging and unhealthy dynamic to be normalised.

And obviously incredibly unfair on you, too.

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